Page 96 of Going Home

You deserve to find happiness and love, baby. I feel like we had that for a while, and you should be free to find it again when you're ready. But you have to fix what you have broken before you can find it. I hate that I helped break you even further, and I'm so sorry. I never want to cause you pain because love you so much it hurts. Please don't grieve forever. I want it to be quick. I want you to find love again, and I want a mother figure for my baby.

I'm sorry I did this to you, Zane. I never meant for this to be our ending, but I love you more than the earth, moon, and stars. I'll love you forever and a day, and I'm with you always. In your heart. You just have to open it up in order to find me.

Love,

Lane

Wiping his tears, Zane shoves the letter back into the envelope and into his pocket. Maybe Lane's right. Maybe he is alienating everyone, but what does everyone expect of him? He just lost the love of his life after watching her fade away quickly in front of him. Anyone thinking he can be angry with his wife—hisdeadwife—is crazy. Even her. She was sick, and she died. How can he be upset with her over something out of their control? Just like his mom.

The women in his life seem to die on him. Maybe it's best for Margaret to keep her distance. He doesn't know how to push past his anger to be there for her, and he's never been the parent in the family. Lane did that. He doesn't know how to do this without her. There’s a very good chance he can't.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Griffin's Beach

Lex

Zanewillneverforgiveme. There is nothing I can ever do to make him love me, and I sealed my fate the moment I agreed to this whole mess.

Taking a deep breath, Lex braces herself on the sink in the kitchen. It took longer than she wanted to get alone after giving Zane the letter from Lane because everyone needed to stop and give her their condolences. Which is nice, but she struggles to breathe. The weight of the past two months threatens to crush her, and she needs a moment to herself.

As soon as she thinks the thoughts, she feels him. Colt. "Baby?"

"Hey."

His arms wrap around her waist, his strong body pressed firmly against her back, and he's the only one she feels safe with these days. To just fall apart, and he simply holds her as she keeps her head down and cries.

"It’s okay," Colt whispers, his hold on her never loosening. "Let it out, Lex."

"I should have told Lane to make Lily do this. Besides the fact she's a lawyer, she's just as strong as I am. She can stand up to Zane."

"He'd still find a reason to hate you," he says. "He'd come to you to talk to Lily, and when she wouldn't budge, he'd blame you. There is no way you could have done anything different and get a different outcome."

The words hit her. It's the truth. It's most definitely the truth, but it doesn't make it easier to swallow. "I know."

"What can I do?"

Sighing, she turns in his arms and hugs him, inhaling his scent. Soap, the same musky cologne he's worn since he was sixteen, and Colt. "If it were any other day, I'd beg you to take me to the apartment and distract me the way you're best at. Today, though, I'll definitely be missed. Plus, I should be around for Margaret.

His fingers run through her hair and massages her scalp, making her moan. "I'll distract you all night long. How does that sound?"

"Like heaven," she says. "Your fingers are magic on every part of my body."

"I love your sounds," he murmurs. "I do have a distraction that keeps us clothed. Still bothered and wanting to get primordial but distracted nonetheless."

Giggling, she opens her eyes. "What's that?"

"I had a thought. An idea, if you will."

"Uh-oh."

He smirks and kisses her nose. "Now, you can shoot this idea down, and it won't be brought up again."

Lex pulls back and leans against the counter. She knows this is serious. "What's going on in that head of yours? The big one, not the... There's really no way to save myself from the hole I just dug here."

"I'll show you a big head," he growls with a wink. "Later. What I wanted to bring up is adopting Hailey and Lucas."

Her eyes narrow. This is up there on the list of last things she expected Colt Nichols to say. "What?"

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