Page 76 of Speak of the Devil

Forty-eight hours of this.

Damn him.

Staying steady on the one-lane road, I walk until the tears dry and my resentment tempers. I stay close to the line of trees but keep my feet on the edge of concrete.

I stop when my blood pressure has lowered along with my anger. The bear crossing sign also alarms me. I’ve gone far enough. I turn around to find Shane right there with me all along.Twenty feet back.Smart enough to give me distance and enough room to allow me to work through my feelings

He says, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You didn’t say anything.”

“I was here when you were ready.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “What if I’m never ready, Shane?”

“I’ll still be here.”

Everything he says feels real, and the pain in my heart lessens from hearing the words. But seeing him and not asking anything from me but my presence has me wondering what he needs to close the door on us.If not that night, then forever.

Forty-eight hours.

At the rate we’re going, I’m about to find out.

25

Shane

We rodefor the past forty-five minutes in silence.

She had just as much to think about as I did. We ripped off the bandage, but it didn’t stop the bleeding like I had wanted. My apology should have been the tourniquet she needed, but it didn’t help.Did I make it worse instead?

Getting it out in the open seemed the way to go and get through this. It’s my fault for assuming it would be easy, all would be forgiven, and we’d be spending the weekend together instead of feeling the distance between us now. Despite having only a foot separating us in the car, where does that leave us?

How have I already fucked this up so royally?

Anger rolls off her in stages, slipping across the leather console. I caused that. I’ll take the hit if it will make her feel better. I’m not sure if anything will, but I’m willing to try. There’s nothing left to lose when I’ve already lost her. So I can sit and stew on how to move forward, break the ice, and get us back on the path of a second chance. Or I can make the effort. Fuck it.Nothing to lose, I repeat in my head.

I shift my car from manual to automatic and reach over, slipping my hand under hers that’s resting on her leg. She yanks it away to her chest. “What are you doing, Shane?”

“I want to hold your hand.”

Her blinks are erratic, her brows tugging together, but her mouth and the roundness of her lips when they part capture my attention. I miss those lips so fucking much. She has a stubborn streak that keeps her feisty. I like the fight in her, but I know it doesn’t come from nowhere. I ask, “May I hold your hand, Cat?”

“No.” From her immediate response, I’m certain she didn’t give the idea a chance.

Slow down, Faris. I don’t have to rush with her. She likes to take it slow. I can do slow if it’s with her. I rest mine between us with my palm facing up—an offer if she wants to take it on her terms instead of mine.

Although I try to keep my eyes ahead, I check on her several times, catching her staring at my hand and shaking her head. She looks out the window but then turns to face me, and asks, “Why do you want to hold my hand?”

“Because I’m not here for a vacation. I’m here to spend time with you.” I grip the steering wheel and roll my hand over it and back down again. I’m sweating, so she’ll know I was nervous if she holds it now. I don’t do vulnerable well, but I’m doing it for her. “I wanted to get to know you in high school. I wanted to keep in touch. I wanted to fuck you the first time I saw you again. And the second. The third and fourth. I’m an asshole because I still do. This time, though, I want to know you as well. I want to learn about you?—”

“That’s all about you, Shane.”

Hearing her disappointment has my heart thumping in my chest, and everything tells me to stop the pain and pull my hand back to the steering wheel. I fight the retreat, pushing forth and leaving it lying between us. I might be an idiot, but I’m willing totake the chance to find out. “I’ve thought so much about us and what really went wrong.”

Resting her elbow on the window, she sighs and tilts her head onto her hand. “What went wrong in your eyes?”

“We didn’t build a foundation. We weren’t friends.”

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