Page 65 of Twice as Forbidden

His words are a stab to my heart. “Oh, Noah. I’m so sorry.” I don’t even know where to begin. Sorry doesn’t remotely express what I am. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Noah sways up to me and cups my cheek, the stench of tequila assaulting me. “Georgie, it’s not your fault you don’t love me anymore.”

“Huh?”

“I hate it. Every fucking time I think about it, I hate what I’ve done. To you. To us. I had something good, and I fucked it up.”

“Noah—”

“Shhh…” He presses a finger to my lips. “Let me finish, okay?” I nod, holding back tears. How is he being so understanding? “We were good together once, right? It wasn’t always bad, right?”

“When it was good, it was good.”

“And when it was bad, it was bad.” Torment settles in his gaze. “I wish things were different. That I wasn’t so fucked up. That I hadn’t screwed this up.”

“Noah—”

“You gotta understand, I have a ton of issues. Shit from my past… it fucks with me. God, this makes me sound like a pussy, but I’m pretty sure I have mommy issues, and it’s all my dad’s fault.”

My skin prickles, every nerve suddenly alert at the mention of his dad. “Why is it your dad’s fault?”

He releases my cheek and steps back, brushing his hands down his face. “What’s not that asshole’s fault? Let’s see. He was never around when I was a kid. He loved his work more than his family and drove my mom away. She was supposed to teach me how to be soft, gentle, understanding… shit, she was supposed to teach me how to be a fucking gentleman. But no. She got sick of my dad’s bullshit, left, and never bothered looking back.”

“She just left you? I mean, I know she hasn’t been in your life. I assumed she died.”

“Would’ve been easier, knowing she never cared to see me because she was dead. Not even a goodbye. And my dad made sure she didn’t contact me. Drove her away and made sure she stayed there once she was gone.”

“Why would Jack—your dad do that?”

“Probably because he couldn’t stand the idea of someone walking away from him.” He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “If you haven’t noticed, my dad’s a control freak. No wife of Jackson Blake’s gets to walk away—not without consequences.” He shakes his head. “She wouldn’t have left me. She couldn’t. So the only thing that makes sense is that he gave her an ultimatum—leave and lose everything, even me. And she still walked.”

“Oh, Noah. I’m sure she loved you very much. She was stuck in a hard position—”

“She had a choice. She could have taken me with her. She could have found a way to see me. Write. Made sure I was okay. Just fuckin’ left.”

This time, it’s me who reaches out and cups his cheek. “You are who you are whether your mom was around or not. We can’t go through life blaming others. No one is going to fix our broken hearts. But you find people who can help fill that empty space.”

“That was you, you know.”

“It may have been at one point, but you and I both know we were headed for disaster. Two trains barreling toward each other without working brakes.”

That earns me a faint smile. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Me too.” I lean in and wrap my arms around him. We’re silent for a beat, and I worry he’s fallen asleep on my shoulder.

“Noah?”

“Hmmm?” he hums.

“What happened with your dad that made you so upset?” My heart is in my throat while I wait for his response.

“He’s just an asshole. I was worried about you and went to his office. I figured you’d gone home, but you weren’t answering my texts. He was a total dick, spewing how you’re not his problem and told me to get the fuck out.” He pulls away and rests his back against the entryway table. “I don’t know why it upset me so much, but… I just… I thought we were starting to find some sort of even ground.”

I almost pass out from holding my breath. His confession is not what I was waiting for. He doesn’t know. For now, he doesn’t know.

“Fuck—I think I might have overdone it.” He whips his hand over his mouth, and I jump back as he sprints up the stairs. I follow, running into his room seconds after I hear him vomit into the toilet. He throws up three more times before the faucet runs, and a few moments later, he stumbles out of his bathroom. “Shit, sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I’ll let you lie down—”

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