Page 33 of Sorry, We're Closed

“A… It's your dad.”

“I suspected as much. Your glasses have come out and that only happens when something serious is going on.”

Marcus smiles and keeps his laugh to a low hum. His hand extends past his computer and rests on my knee.

“You know that I don't think glasses would go with my usual fashion. My brother, your dad, has reached out. He emailed me the other day and I've only just got around to reading it. He asked me to read it to you, but if you'd prefer to read it yourself, or not at all, then that's okay. You know best how you can heal.”

He always asks Marcus to read out his emails. It's like he's hoping that a glimpse of him will shine through his brother since they are so similar and make it hurt more.

“I'd like to read it, please.”

Marcus nods as he hands over the laptop, the screen full of text which is already seeming to blur into one. The last email from Chris was six months ago, his emails becoming increasingly distant over the years since I never reply.

I blink my eyes wide as the words are going into my head, but nothing is being understood. I reach the end of the email, and the only thing that seems to stick is the ending:

Avory, I promise I am trying to get better. I would like to see the amazing man you have become.

Dad x

I skim the entire piece again. This time, various parts stick to my brain, yet none of it means much, if anything, to me.

We are and have been both struggling with mum’s passing, yet his only focus has always been whatever makes it easier for him, not on the child who is now a fully grown man, thriving because of his uncle’s care. I never let myself speak about it or even think about it for that matter.

My head falls back on the sofa cushions and my eyes flutter closed. I was young at the time, but any memories that I could remember try to push forward, front and centre, and play themselves in my mind like a movie screen and I'm stuck in the best seat in the house.

Damn, I need to write that down.

The movie begins to blur as my mind pulls my focus elsewhere, back to him and those damn lips pressed against mine.

“How do you feel, bud? You okay?”

I drag my head back up and meet Marcus' dark eyes, his five o'clock shadow already kicking in from his shave this morning. These emails always send me into spirals, but this is the first time where I feel like I can shrug it off.

“Yeah, I'm okay. When did you last speak to Chris?”

Marcus pulls his legs from underneath me and swivels himself around, planting his feet on the floor. He cracks his neck as he stands up, leaving his glasses on the table and making his way to the kitchen. I follow closely behind him.

“Other than these emails for you? Your sixteenth birthday. He kept calling me, begging me to put you on the phone but I couldn't. I told him that you are old enough to make these decisions. I may be your guardian, per se, but I have no right to parent you. I just need to keep you alive, and I've done an alright job.” Marcus winks as he lifts the mug of coffee he has made and sips, slurping it slightly.

“Thank you, Marcus. For everything. Always.”

Marcus comes around the island, places his mug down and wraps his big arms around me. I feel my eyes beginning to well up for Marcus, but I squeeze them shut in the hopes he won't notice – he'd never let me forget it.

“You're my blood, Avory. I'm never going to let anything happen to you. I know that Chris was going through some shit when everything happened to you guys, but addiction is a bitch. It is a monster which thrives on hurting those suffering and those surrounding the suffering. We all tried to help him, to support him but if there’s no want or even a thought of wanting to get better, then sometimes you need to let go, at least for now.”

Marcus strokes the back of my head once as he pulls away, his hands resting on my shoulders in their usual fashion, as he continues, “You know though, that if anything ever changes, and you did want to see him, then we could go together. Publicly, daylight, coffee shop. Anything that would help you, okay?”

I nod as I can’t guarantee that my voice won’t tremble right now.

Marcus smiles as he pats my shoulder twice and reaches back for his mug. I feel like I leap out of my skin as my phone vibrates in my pocket.

Sawyer:Hey! Did you get home okay?

Avory:Yes, thank you, and not ill! You better not be either ;)

“Avory Bright, texting, and smiling down at his screen. Do tell!” Marcus giggles to himself as he slurps his drink again.

I begin to back up and rest myself on the back of the sofa. “Ha, you see it's really funny, Marcus Matthew Bright because—” My hand trails slowly down the sofa cushion as I speak.

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