Page 65 of Sorry, We're Closed

“Then Sawyer, why don’t you try and talk to him?”

As I swallow my very full mouthful, Xander piles his fork in a similar fashion to me.

“Xan, he is leaving in a couple of days, we haven’t spoken since we were nearly found out, and he’s just better off without all of… this.”

I see Xander’s eyes widen at my comment, and while he has a mouthful I continue to speak.

“I don’t want to make this parting more painful than it already is and seeing him again won’t help with that.”

Xander swallows and his voice comes out gravely compared to usual. “Bud, what do you have left in Tetherton?”

As I ponder on his question, a mouth of greasy bacon, delicious eggs, and fresh bread distract me from my brain as it reminds me that there’s only one thing keeping me in this town now.

“You guys.”

Xander’s face softens as a small smile forms. He abruptly looks away, once again hiding this truly soft and gentle side of himself.

“Sawyer, you’ll always have us, no matter where any of us are! Phones exist for a reason.” He chuckles to himself slightly while nearly finishing his plate, and I have over half left.

He continues as I try to catch up. “You need to find him and talk to him. Get an answer, get some closure, get rejected, anything. Anything that will answer the ‘what if’ that will linger in your mind otherwise.”

Answer the what if? As the phrase repeats itself in my thoughts, another thought becomes prominent:Is Xander getting involved with all of this, because he knows this feeling?

“Xander, do you have a ‘what if’?”

As the words slip through my lips, I wonder if I’ve possibly touched on something too close for Xander to want to talk about, but as he wipes his mouth with a cloth, and his eyes look everywhere else but at me, he speaks.

“Yes. I will forever have a ‘what if’ about Oli, and everything that happened with us, and it is beyond awful. You spend your current, present, right here right now life, constantly wondering about the past and what could have happened if I had just…” His words trail off as his inhales turn short and sharp.

I drop my cutlery as I shovel the last mouthful of my food into my mouth, and I reach for his hand. While he doesn’t return the grip, I can see he appreciates it as his eyes meet mine with a small smile to accompany them.

A what if.

The idea of constantly wondering about Avory Bright, about what could have been, what we could do together or apart, drives my mind into shambles. My brain feels like it is shaking within my skull at the constant looming thought of Avory, with where our futures could go apart, or together.

As the thought floods my every sense and limb, the unlocking of the front door pauses said floods as Gwen stumbles into the flat, her hair dripping down her neck as her outfit is plastered in damp patches. My sweater!

Gwen drops her keys in the bowl, before running towards me and wrapping her arms around my neck tightly. Xander crosses his arms across his chest as he smirks at Gwen, who is currently planting many fruity lip balm prints all over my head.

“Hello to you, too. What’s going on?”

As she finally pulls her lips away from my hair and forehead, she practically sings her next words.

“Go get him, Sawyer! Take an umbrella, though! The rain has just kicked in and it is heavy!”

I can tell confusion is written all over my face as Gwen and Xander are smiling at each other, peering over at me from time to time.

Xander’s voice comes out sounding nearly jovial, “Sawyer. Go to him, and make sure he is not a ‘what if’.”

Suddenly, everything begins to slowly click into place. They have given me a window of opportunity to find my answers for what Avory and I had. Have. Something, anything, that means we don’t finish off at the exit door of the café.

I can feel the corners of my mouth curling up as I leap from my chair, throwing my arms around Gwen and then Xander in the process, and my entire body finally has its spark back that had fizzled out only a night ago.

I sprint around their flat, both of them giggling and waving me off whenever I dart from the bedroom for my clothes, to the bathroom for a shower, back to the bedroom because I forgot my toiletries, back to the bathroom to actually have my shower, then back to the bedroom to check myself once over in the mirror. As if someone’s playing cupid,Gwen and Xander, I actually look somewhat handsome for once, and the state you could have found me in this morning will never be known. My curls lay on my forehead and brush the top of my glasses, while the white collar of my button up sits nicely around my neck. An olive-green jumper covers most of the shirt, with a pair of brown, cotton trousers which fit perfectly, everywhere. I find my favourite pair of brown, faux leather loafers which I left at Gwen’s months ago, and as I turn and view myself from every angle, Gwen appears in the doorway.

“That’s the Sawyer Sombre we know. That’s the Sawyer Sombre which Avory knows, too.”

I turn to face Gwen, my face growing warm as I wonder how long she has been watching me checking myself out. I slide my phone into my pocket as I stroll over to her and I throw my arms around her, and my lips land near her ear.

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