Page 77 of Sorry, We're Closed

Xander agrees with Gwen and both siblings continue to smother me in nothing but reassurance and acceptance of this change.

“But what about you guys? I’m leaving you guys here, and I’ll miss you both so much.”

“We can see you whenever! I’m going to miss you so goddamn much Sawyer but knowing you could be out there doing everything that you’ve dreamt of.”

“But what about my mother, and the café? Those were my life; the reason I left my bed in the mornings.”

Gwen stumbles over her words, beginning sentences and then suddenly stopping before being cut off by a deeper voice.

“You see? Thosewereyour life. Not anymore. She has made it crystal clear to you that you will never be good enough for her, when in reality, you are far too good for her, and she has pushed you far past your limit. So far in fact, that you forgot who Sawyer was and is.”

Every one of Xander’s words ache in my chest, because a part of me understands everything he’s saying. He’s right. To think that only a couple of months ago, I would have defended her with my life, as if it would have ever changed how she felt about me.

“If we want to see you, we can come to you! If she wants to see you, then that will be on your terms, when you are ready, if you ever want to be ready. She can wait for your acceptance now.”

She can wait for my acceptance now. That is something that I never thought was possible.

“Are you both sure? You guys are like my family.” My voice shakes within my throat, the tremble spreading to my palms and then to my eyelids as tears begin to form.

Escape, freedom has never been an option. This painful cycle that I consistently dragged myself through, that I was somehow content with surrendering to for her acceptance. Finished.

“We aren’tlikeyour family, Sawyer, wearefamily, and you’llalwaysbe our family.”

Gwen’s hands wrap around mine again as Xander’s words engrave themselves into my mind and onto my heart. A sombre silence lingers in the air for minutes, the decision finally sinking in.

“Does this mean that you’re leaving tomorrow?” Gwen asks, her head tilting and her hair cascading down her arm.

I nod to her question, and she pulls Xander’s arm close from across the table, peering at his watch.

“Well, it’s five o’clock somewhere! Come on! We’re celebrating the new Sawyer!”

Gwen promptly drags me to my feet, Xander following shortly behind as he grabs a plaid jacket and throws one of his oversized zip ups to Gwen.

“The breeze is cold, at least wrap up, please?”

Gwen rolls her eyes before smiling at him and throwing the dark grey fabric over her shoulders, Xander’s cologne now filling the air. I take a moment to bury my nose into the neck of Avory’s hoodie, and I can’t stop the smile which presses against the fabric.

The three of us tumble out of the flat, into the company van, and into the local stores by Gwen’s demand to collect a soon to be fuzzy evening’s worth of brightly coloured bottles with even flashier labels.

Every part of my body cries in aches and pains as I find myself contorted on the Sweet’s sofa. My neck aching, I roll it forward and away from the sofa arm which I seem to have fallen asleep against. The room is far too bright for my eyes to open, and as the throbbing pains begins to spread to my head, I can feel my glasses digging into my nose while my body remains full clothed in Avory’s attire. As I try with all the little strength I hold to sit myself up, my body finds itself pinned to the sofa by something of a similar size as myself, however my attempt to move causes the weight to stir and attempt to talk.

“Hmm, babe please… five more minutes.”

Gwen. Her voice slurs as her head rests itself against my chest, her hair splayed across my neck and collarbones. She has fallen asleep completely on top of me, and while I’m still trying to piece together what on earth happened in the Sweet’s flat last night, a banging of a door behind followed by abrupt footsteps causes my head to ache that much more.

“Ugh, Xander! Please! I’m dying here!” She pulls herself up and onto her elbows as she shouts, but her eyes remain shut as mine finally peel open.

How the hell did her eyeliner even survive whatever happened here last night? To my left, two tanned legs in khaki chino shorts appear, and as I follow up the figure, past a monochrome flannel shirt, Xander’s eyes meet mine after rolling at the state of his sister.

“Sawyer, what time is Avory leaving this morning?”

As the direct tone of his voice vibrates within my skull, I begin to think about his question. Why is thinking so goddamn hard? I need to sit up. I gently rest Gwen on her side as I peel myself from the sofa and sit up.

“What happened last night, Xan?”

I rub my face with my palms, my glasses pushing against my forehead.

“Well, we all got absolutely hammered, and seemingly forgot that you are making a monumental change to your life today! Gwen said you guys were heading to bed shortly after me, but that clearly didn’t work out, huh?”

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