Page 45 of Sorry, We're Closed

Gwen could clearly read my expression as she continues on, “That's Tracey Sombre, Sawyer's mother. She's never been accepting of him since…” Her voice trails off, wanting to respect Sawyer and everything he has experienced.

“Gwen, he’s told me everything.”

Shock plasters over Gwen's face, which soon blends itself into glee.

“I would never wish what he went through, what he still goes through, on anyone. The fact that he has told you everything, though…” She smiles to herself before sipping her sunset drink.“You must mean a lot to my boy.” She offers her glass in my direction, and I clink mine against hers.

We smile, sip in unison and I begin to understand why Sawyer has had Gwen as his closest friend all of these years. Everything about her is so freeing, so carefree yet she still cares so much about everyone around her.

Gwen and I seem to chat the night away, laughing and sharing stories about each other and our other halves for the evening, until Marcus and Xander stumble their way over to us, Xander’s arm linked through Marcus’. Suddenly it feels like the roles have swapped as Gwen and I are quick to offer our chairs to the men who have spinning heads and clearly, two left feet.

Marcus opens his arms up and drags me into a tight bear hug, before leaving one arm dangling from my shoulders, and using the other to gesture towards Xander.

“Oh Avory, you have to meet this guy! This is Xander and he runs a bakery in town, and we are getting some goods from them soon!”

My eyes lock with Gwen's momentarily and we both laugh. Xander throws an arm over his sister, making her appear petite next to his stocky and towering figure, even when he is sitting down. A light grey flannel shirt stretches against his large chest as it half tucks itself into a pair of navy chinos that cut off just below the knee. He brushes his blonde ringlets off of his forehead before speaking.

“You'retheAvory? Sawyer’s Avory? It's nice to meet you finally.” He extends his free hand out and mine seems dainty and miniature compared to his, but I still shake it twice.

Already being known as Sawyer’s Avory makes my mind rush with what he’s been telling the siblings.

“And yes, please get yourselves down to the bakery soon! We supply Sombre’s Café too, so you can also grab our goods there if you're too busy.”

After we finish discussing our favourite pastries and what drinks go with said pastries, not only do I realise that I have no idea of what flavours go with what, but it’s also reaching the early hours of the morning, and our pairs go our separate ways home.

We stumble through the door around three in the morning, and Marcus doesn't stumble much further than that as he throws himself over the back of the sofa and his eyes close shortly after. His feet hang off the sofa arm, and his arm lay on its side, the back of his palm brushing against the hardwood floor. Within moments, a guttural snore rises from Marcus as his mouth drops open, and I take that as my cue to leave. Holding back my own laughter and failing is not going to be the reason Marcus wakes up.

I enter my room, which is only lit up by the sliver of the silver moon peeking through my curtains. I want it to stay that way, because sooner rather than later, I’m going to be buried in that bed with no plan of leaving anytime soon. I empty my pockets and remove my jewellery, piling it on the rickety bedside table, and with the slither of hope I have, I check my phone once more for any sign of life from Sawyer. The screen remains black.

Crap, when did my phone die?

I eventually plug my phone in to charge after missing the port a few times and proceed to get myself changed. As much as I love our performing outfits and the confidence it brings out from within me, I could never choose any article of clothing over my joggers. As I drop my entire weight into bed, the mattress causing me to sink and then bounce back, I reach over and grab the charging cable. Strategically, I dangle my phone over to my side and the symphony of notifications begin as I drop the brick on the duvet on top of me. The screen brightens, countless amounts of little speech bubbles popping up and I urgently swipe my phone, hoping that my urgency would encourage my phone to load quicker. It was past ten when I last messaged Sawyer, and I’m encouraged by Gwen to believe that he has gone to sleep since he gets to work so early each day, but all of these messages tell me something completely different.

Sawyer:Avory…

Sawyer:I can't ever see you again. My mother found out about you, about us (whatever we are), and with everything I've told you about her, I'm sure you can imagine what has happened. I'm sorry.

Sawyer:Why did I think saying goodbye so formally was a good idea?

Sawyer: I wish I could kiss you one more time

Sawyer: I hate that you can't delete texts

Sawyer:There's plenty of good cafés in town. Please don't worry about me, I have done this to myself. Thank you for everything, and good luck with everything in the future for you and Marcus. You guys deserve the world <3.

The last message was sent recently. He might still be awake. I need him to know that I have read his messages. I need him to know that if our kiss in his staffroom was going to be our last one, I would have made sure our lips never parted. I need him to know that I am not losing him this easily. No, not even this easily, I amnotlosing him. I have only started reading the story of Sawyer Sombre, and I am not going to allow Tracey Sombre to spoil the ending, the plot, or the characters.

I can't control what my fingers are typing, I can't control what thoughts are forming on the screen, but these feel like truer words than I have ever written for any of my lyrics.

Avory:Sawyer, I don't care what it takes, and while I will make sure with every fibre of my being that you are safe throughout, I am not losing you. There is something here, something that fuels a burning fire which you have started within me, and I don't want it to die out. I cannot just walk away from everything we have and will have in times to come.

I try to trick myself. I close my messaging app, restart my phone, reread Sawyer's name over and over, but those messages still exist, and they are still sent from Sawyer. Within moments, a bubble pops up with three dots within, doing their rhythmic wiggle. He is still awake. The bubble continues to appear and disappear, and my heart spikes in my throat. I regulate my breathing with my eyes squeezing shut, these emotions are all so inexperienced that my body spirals into a hot and bothered mess. All of this is feeling too familiar to my first full show with Marcus. Eventually, Sawyer's message delivers, explaining everything Tracey has regimented for him. It’s blunt and direct, completely out of character for Sawyer, and my blood boils through my veins. Sawyer is a burning fire, fuelling his beautiful personality and even more beautiful features. Tracey Sombre is, and will, try everything she can to put him out. To watch him slowly fizzle out until nothing remains except the ashes of a man who she can form into whoever she wants.

Well Tracey, I am a gallon of fuel, and I will pour my everything into Sawyer Sombre, as long as I can continue to see him burning bright.

Avory:Sawyer, I'm not leaving you.

Sawyer:You have no choice.

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