Page 27 of Keeping His Brat

Everything hurt and he was so thirsty, but every time he tried to tell her to bring him some water and aspirin the coughing would start again. He could barely swallow because his throat was so swollen and raw and that added to the general misery.

It felt like he was breathing through wet cotton. His ribs ached and he struggled to breathe. Taking shallow breaths didn’t help either, but they did make him lightheaded.

He was aware that he was rambling and at one point realized most of it didn’t make sense. The world was fractured into short bursts of lucidity. Little moments where he came out of the delirium enough to know what was going on, but it never lasted long. They were just snapshots of time mixed with random thoughts.

Charlie was crying. He didn’t like that. She shouldn’t be crying, and he tried to tell her so, but he started coughing again. He coughed so hard that he made himself sick and lost all of the soup she’d made for him.

The thirst was horrible. He wanted to drink a gallon of water. Why was he so thirsty?

He had to talk to Ben about the Devil horse. They were going to have to do something about the horse.

Had he done payroll?

“I’m going to marry you,” he announced in the middle of everything. “Call that minister over.”

Charlie was putting cold, wet things on his face and that made him shake more. He tried to push her away, but he could barely lift his arms. The surreal fever dreams continued, and he was lost in them.

Chapter 8

Charlie was feeling a little better about Sam, but she was still anxious. He’d slept in late, but he seemed fine, just tired, which was probably normal. She worked at her laptop in the quiet kitchen and kept an ear out for him, but she was struggling to focus on her work.

Sam did seem to be getting better. He was strong and tough, and no germ was going to beat him. A few days of rest and he’d be back on his feet, she told herself. In the meantime, she was determined to take good care of him.

When Sam began to toss and turn, she tried to ignore it. He’d get irritated if she rushed in every time he made a peep. She just had to hope he’d settle down into a more restful sleep.

He did, eventually, and everything was quiet aside from the occasional hacking cough or muffled groan. The crackling of the fire helped to settle her enough that she was able to make some progress on the paper she was writing.

She didn’t get as much done as she would have liked but the work was distracting and that was a small help with a day where time seemed to drag. The day passed so slowly. She kept looking to the window, expecting it to be getting dark outside, only to find that barely an hour had passed.

“I feel like I’m stuck in a time loop,” she muttered as she got up and paced around the room for a few minutes, just to use up some of the energy that was keeping her wired. The coffee she’d been drinking all day probably wasn’t helping. She’d had more cups than usual, and she was buzzing.

Normally she’d head over to the barn and find some work to do, or get her horse saddled up and go for a ride. It was probably safe enough to do either of those things, since he was finally sound asleep. She just didn’t feel comfortable leaving him for any longer than necessary.

She curled up on the couch with a book but ended up deep in thought instead. One of the things she’d learned from her therapist was how important introspection was. Charlie had never been the best at that, but she was learning. And it was helpful sometimes when there were things about herself she didn’t get.

Right now, her worry about Sam felt like it had come out of the blue. The way she wanted to hover over him protectively was new too. Sam wasn’t the type to need or want that and she’d never been like that before.

So why this time?

The question forced her to pull apart the reactions, lift them away to see what was underneath. It wasn’t easy or fun, but she got there in the end. With her father gone, Sam was all she really had left in the way of close ties.

Their illnesses weren’t related, of course. Cancer had gotten Jimmy and it had been a long, slow decline. Nothing like the sudden bug that Sam was dealing with. It wasn’t even unusual for winter, as he’d tried to tell her several times.

But finally she understood the connection.

It was the coughing that scared her. She remembered Jimmy doubled over with harsh wrenching coughs that left him trembling and out of breath. The little dots of blood on his handkerchiefs had been the first clue that it was more than just a smoker’s cough.

Sam didn’t smoke. Never had. But still … the way he was coughing scared her down to her bones. It made her weak with fear. She couldn’t lose him too.

The rational part of her mind was aware that she was overreacting to everything. Sam didn’t have cancer. He had the stuffy sinuses, and fever that went with a normal winter cold. But every time he started to hack, she was reminded that Sam wasn’t immortal. It was pulling at the threads of her emotional stability, but the introspection did help.

Despite her waffling over whether she wanted to continue therapy she couldn’t deny that some of it was useful. Everything that had happened with her mother had been a wake-up call. She needed to sort things out in her head, and she obviously couldn’t do it alone.

Charlie’s past had always been a problem, but once it came between her and Sam, she knew she needed to work through it. For too long she’d held onto a memory of a woman who had never existed. It wasn’t her only issue, but it was the basis for her anxiety.

Things had gotten better, but not until she’d asked for help. Instead of checking in now and then with her therapist through e-mail, they’d been doing video sessions on a regular basis. Charlie could see the difference in how she processed things. Her relationship with Sam was stronger for it too.

Charlie didn’t like needing help. She hated to depend on people, but the way she’d messed everything up when Vicky had strolled back into her life made it obvious that she wasn’t dealing with everything well enough. So … therapy.

---