Page 28 of Keeping His Brat

It wasn’t all bad though. There were parts she liked a lot. Her therapist, Marilee, was a big part of that. She had a way of pushing Charlie in the right direction without trying to lead the way. Charlie felt like she was doing the work herself with just a little guidance, which made it easier to accept.

She learned a lot more about how to pull her own thoughts apart that way too. Now she could,ifshe took the time, deconstruct her reactions to figure out why she’d done something. That part was definitely an improvement.

One of the best things about it though, was having someone she could talk to. It often felt isolated out on the ranch. She had Sam and he was everything to her, but she did miss having girlfriends around to hang out and chat with. Probably some of her issues, the grief at least, she could have moved past just by talking things out with friends.

It was really the only part about her life she wasn’t happy with. She needed friends, local friends she could talk to and spend time with. There were plenty of workers she was friendly with, some were like family to her, but it wasn’t the same. There was always the knowledge that she was the owner that interfered.

And there were certain topics that had to be off the table with them anyway. She certainly couldn’t see herself discussing anything intimate with them, like her relationship with Sam.

She thought about getting out more to meet people, and then she remembered how little free time she had. Sam was her best friend, and always would be, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to that she wasn’t romantically involved with. Someone she could even talk toabouthim.

Right now, Marilee was the only person in her life who fit that description. The relationship didn’t really allow them to be friends. There was a professional barrier that had to be maintained, but Marilee was a sounding board, and a non-judgmental ear and that helped a lot.

Of course, it worked better when Charlie remembered to reach out when she was having a problem. She was still working on that part, but now that it had come to mind, she grabbed her laptop and started typing up a long e-mail about the situation. It forced her to organize her thoughts, which was an immediate help. Any advice Marilee might suggest later was almost a bonus.

She was careful to include her thoughts about why she might be feeling this way, and a little background about her father so it made sense. They had talked about his death of course, many times. It was something that seemed to come up often in their sessions. Although lately there had been something new to discuss.

About a month back she’d finally decided to be fully honest with the therapist, and had given the woman a more complete picture of her relationship with Sam. That included the embarrassing parts like their D/s dynamic and the fact that she’d asked for punishment to be part of it. To her surprise, Marilee hadn’t been shocked. Nor had she seemed disapproving.

After listening without comment while Charlie described their lifestyle, Marilee had simply nodded. “It seems to work for you. You both consented to the relationship, and you seem to know what you’re getting into. I don’t see any problems there.” And then she’d shrugged like it was a non-issue and moved on to another topic.

Charlie was left shaken at the lack of reaction. In the back of her head, she’d still had the idea that the world might consider what they were doing shameful or wrong in some way. There was always that taint when it came to kink. She must have said something because Marilee laughed.

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with a kinky relationship as long as everyone involved communicates, knows what to expect, and is fully consenting. To be honest, I find that couples who engage in a little bit of BDSM tend to be more open and honest with each other.”

“Even … the punishment thing? I know it must be a little strange that an adult would want to be punished by her boyfriend.” Sure, BDSM in the bedroom was okay, but maybe Marilee didn’t understand the full scope.

“Charlie, is Sam forcing punishment on you against your will?”

“No, of course not!”

“Does he seem uncomfortable or unhappy with what you’re asking him to do?”

“No—no, I think he enjoys it most of the time.”

“And afterward, do you feel negative about the experience? Sad? Depressed? Scared?”

“No. Usually I feel better. Less guilty, and I can move on without moping about it.” She could feel a flush crawling up her neck to color her face and she hoped it wasn’t noticeable on camera, but it was such an embarrassing discussion to have.

“And … do you think it helps you? I mean, normally punishment is given to curb bad behavior. So, do you feel like it has that kind of effect for you? Or does it make you break the rules more because you want him to punish you?”

Charlie gnawed at her bottom lip as she considered the question. “I mean … when it’s aseriousrule I try really hard not to break it. I don’t like serious punishments at all. There’s so much emotional stuff there and knowing he’s disappointed is hard to deal with. Fun punishments are different. I get sassy with him on purpose to get those.”

Marilee sat back in her office and smiled into the camera. “Charlie, that all seems perfectly healthy to me. I would be concerned if you were escalating to dangerous behavior to get that kind of attention, but you’re not. You and Sam seem like a good match as far as what you like. So unless you have doubts about doing these things with him …” She trailed off to give Charlie a chance to speak up.

“I don’t have doubts about any of it. It feels right for us, and I think we both need it. The doubts come in when I think about what other people might think if they knew.”

“Other people aren’t in the relationship so what they think about it really doesn’t matter. There are always going to be people who have opinions, but in the end, it comes down to you and Sam. If you think you need some kind of approval for your lifestyle, consider it given.”

Charlie laughed because the therapist had misunderstood her. She did sometimes worry about the workers on the ranch finding out, mostly because she thought it would give them reason to treat her like she was a kid. Most of them were old-fashioned types and she had a feeling they’d just approve of Sam taking her in hand, as long as they knew he wasn’t going overboard.

When her mother, Vicky, had been in town she’d been concerned that the older woman might find out and think Sam was abusing her. It had turned out to be Vicky who was abusive in the end, but before that it had been a concern.

At that moment though, there had only been one person she was worried about. “I guess you’re really the one I was afraid to tell. I mean, I felt like you needed to know but I wasn’t sure what the therapist view on this kind of thing was.” She sounded awkward as she admitted it and her face was radiating heat.

If Marilee noticed the embarrassment, she didn’t comment on it. “Well, now you know. I would assume that such a relationship is a big part of your life so I’m glad you told me. It would be hard to help without knowing such an important thing. So now, let’s get back to …”

And just like that they moved on to another topic, but it had left Charlie feeling like she could tell Marilee everything. Well, everything within reason. She wasn’t giving out intimate details about what the punishments consisted of or anything like that. It was just that she could be more open with her life now that she didn’t have to censor a major part of it.

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