Page 92 of A Darkness So Sweet

“You fought hard enough that those who came back from the war band were quick to correct anyone speaking ill of the human among us. Did you know that quite a few trolls were claiming you were a spy for the humans? Anyone who says that now is quick to have their mouth closed.”

Which meant the entire city also knew that she had been attacked. Those memories clawed at the back of Maia’s mind, a wolf just like Ragnar had said. This one wanted to hold her in its jaws and shake her hard enough that she saw stars.

“What’s this for?” she asked, gesturing to the offered cloak, but even she could hear the desperation in those words. She needed a distraction, anything, from those memories. Her hand shook when she reached out for it. Even worse, she was pretty sure her voice warbled as well.

“We’re going back to the safety of the troll wives. You deserve to be there, not here alone.”

“I think here is fine. I like being here.” In the dark. By herself. The anxiety and worries could consume her here, and no one would know.

Already she could feel the wolf at the back of her throat. It was like the beast lived inside of her, aware of her terror that it would soon enough rear its ugly head. The more she tried to shove it aside, the more those memories wanted to fight back.

She hardly noticed Inkeri move. But then the woman was right in front of her, draping the cloak over her shoulders. “You cannot stay here. You will come with me, and the others will see to it that you are taken care of.”

“I thought Ragnar might be back soon…?” Even she could hear the hope in those words.

“Ragnar is busy. But we will take care of you, fire hair. Now, keep the hood up, otherwise people are going to recognize you and I don’t think you’re in the mood to talk to anyone right now, are you?”

No, she wasn’t. She didn’t want to talk to anyone who wanted to speak of what had happened just yesterday. She didn’t want to think about it just yet.

Looking at the room that should have been her shelter, she followed Inkeri out onto the street and down the stone paths that would lead to the safest place in this mountain. Along the way, she tried to convince herself this was a good thing. The troll wives would understand what she was going through. At least, she hoped so. They were women as well. Surely they knew what it was like to have experienced… that.

As she walked into the hidden area with Inkeri, all Maia could focus on was that these women might want her to talk about it too. They might push her, thinking it was the right choice, that maybe she needed to talk about it and they were doing the right thing by forcing her.

But she didn’t want to talk about it. Not yet. Maybe never. Maybe she just wanted to keep it all in her head and let it roll around in there until it was as soft and smooth as a river stone.

There weren’t as many troll wives as there had been before. Some of the elderly troll crones were weaving in the corner, some of them sewing from where they sat on logs that were strategically placed around a warmer fire. A few troll wives were practicing magic in the stream, just as she had seen them doing before. Others were laid out on the grasses on blankets. There were even a few troll wives in the trees, although those women appeared to be picking fruit that were hanging there. Fruit she hadn’t noticed since the first time she’d been here.

One of the troll wives waved at her, calling out, “Maia! We were wondering when you were going to come back.”

She hadn’t... well, she didn’t really think they would notice that she hadn’t returned. There were so many of them, and she wasn’t necessarily wanted. A human in here felt wrong, on some level. But she was appreciative they even remembered her name.

“Come on,” Inkeri said, reaching out to grab her hand. “I know just the thing you need.”

“Inkeri, I really just want to go back to the house and pretend I don’t exist for a while.”

“That won’t help you. But I know what will.”

She didn’t think the other woman did. She wasn’t up to this. Being around people somehow made how she was feeling even worse. The churning nerves in her stomach at being around so many trolls were suddenly impossible to control when she knew that they were looking at her. They knew what had happened, too. A few of them cast pitying glances her way, and she wondered if it showed on her face.

Was it so obvious to see what she had gone through?

The popping of flesh suddenly burst in her mind, and she sucked in a sharp breath. Inkeri glanced over her shoulder at her, tugging her along the edge of the stream and deeper into the woods. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” Maia asked, a little breathless even though they weren’t moving all that fast.

“If you’re going to use your magic, then you can’t be using it in a state where you’re worrying or anxious or afraid. Magic doesn’t work right when you’re like that. So clear your mind.”

“It’s a little hard to do that, considering everything that’s happened,” she muttered.

Inkeri walked her all the way to a soft, mossy area of the glen and then sat her down. The shove would have taken her off her feet regardless of where she was, so Maia was distinctly glad that there evenwasa soft area for her to fall into.

Letting out a little grunt of displeasure, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at Inkeri.

The troll wife returned her look with a glare that was more terrifying than Maia’s. “Listen to me and listen well. What you went through, what you saw, was something no woman should ever have to deal with. It’s terrifying to know what might have happened, and your mind is going to go down that path whether you want it to or not.”

Inkeri lifted her hand and stopped Maia from speaking.

“You shouldn’t have been there, Maia. That soldier should have known better than to touch you, as well. I know there’s guilt in you. For hurting him. For being there in the first place. For the way that Ragnar likely tore that man apart and then ran with you through the woods. But none of it is your fault.”

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