Page 16 of Wasted

When River was born, it was like everything had changed. I wanted to be better for her, but it didn't take long for me to fall back into old habits. I hadn't realized how bad I'd gotten, though.

I dragged myself up the bus steps, the metal clanging hollowly under my feet. As I rounded the corner, the sight of her hit me like a physical blow. My lungs seized, and for a moment, the world tilted on its axis. Her familiar scent - vanilla - filled the air, catapulting me back to happier times. My fingers instinctively reached out, aching to touch her, before I caught myself and clenched them into a fist at my side.

Looking at her now, I couldn’t help but see the girl I used to love. The girl I still loved.

"Fuck me." The words escaped in a harsh whisper. I averted my gaze, hoping she hadn't noticed how my breath caught at the sight of her.

"Cole." Taylor's eyes widened, her fingers freezing mid-tug on the hem of her oversized black tee. It was my fucking bus. "Uh, what are you doing here so soon?"

"So soon?"

"I mean... I thought... Well, I..." She pressed her lips into a tight line.

"Well, spit it out, Taylor."

"Sorry." She sighed. "I didn't think you would be here until closer to 11:30. I was going to make something to eat and be in bed before you got here. So you didn't have to see me."

That made more sense as to why Wyatt wasn't in a hurry to get me straight to the bus. Every show ended with him trying to corral me onto the bus immediately, but not tonight. Tonight, he wanted me to go party with four groupies. He was protecting her, and everything about that infuriated me. Did he know what she'd put me through? He was my friend, not hers. Was he fucking her? "Fuck this," I growled, twisting to leave. I was going to the bar.

"Don't do this, Cole." I ignored her, but her footsteps pounded behind me. "Think about your career." Fuck this career, I never wanted this career without her. "Think about your daughter." I stopped. "I'll go to bed. You won't have to see me again. Just please come back to the bus."

"Fine." I spun on my heel, my jaw clenched so tight it ached. "Just stay out of my way." I pushed past her and stormed back onto the bus. I felt like I was going crazy. I wanted her gone, but I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want her around me, but I was mad if she wasn't. I hated her, but I was still in love with her.

I needed a shower and sleep. I hadn't slept since she showed up, and I was losing it.

Chapter Nine

Taylor

My stomach rumbled, and I groaned. I should have brought my sandwich to the bunk, but I was so flustered and anxious to get away from him that I'd left it on the counter. Now, I was starving, and even though he was probably passed out by now, there was no way I was taking the chance that he might still be up.

My stomach rumbled again, this time louder, and I winced. I was pretty sure they could hear it on the moon. Cole had always been a heavy sleeper, so it wouldn't wake him even if my stomach was eating itself.

I could just run out and grab my sandwich. Actually, no, I made it over three hours ago. Groaning, I rolled to my side, facing the dark blue curtain that hid me from the rest of the bus.

"Taylor?" Cole's voice, rough with fatigue, filtered through the curtain.

I froze. It was Cole. Maybe if I just ignored him, he'd go away.

"Taylor?"

Nope.

I gripped the edge of my bunk, heart racing. "Cole?"

"We need to talk." His voice was low, controlled, but with an undercurrent of tension.

"Right now?" I scowled. The truth was I didn't think I could handle another round with him tonight or any night for that matter. It was obvious that he wanted to make me suffer. "It's pretty late."

Cole's voice was unexpectedly calm. "Were you sleeping?"

I hesitated, fingers twisting with the corner of the comforter. "Yes."

My curtain ripped open, and my eyes went wide. "If this is going to work, you aren't going to lie to me about anything. Not even something stupid."

My lips parted, and my face twisted with a mixture of confusion and shock, but I nodded. "What's going to work?"

Cole jerked his head towards the kitchen. "Let's talk in the kitchen." His footsteps echoed down the narrow hallway.