Page 35 of Out of Control

Or was he being naïve to hope for that?

What to do?

Yes, he owed Drago a serious debt of gratitude for saving his life last night. And yes, he was a little in love with the man for staying. But was that debt great enough to break his own word of honor over? Dammit. He’d promised the CIA he would do a job, and that job was to bring Drago Thorpe in from the cold. That was supposed to be his number-one priority.

As personally gratifying as it would be to put Hamza six feet under, his legal responsibility was still the assignment at hand.

And yet he did, in fact, owe Drago a huge debt, a personal debt, for coming back and saving his life.

Cripes. Talk about being torn over what to do.

His head felt like a freaking ping-pong ball. Bring Drago in, let him go. Pay the debt back, ignore the debt owed. Revenge or honor? His head or his heart?

The only constant in his brain was a desire to help Drago. But how? Help him by bringing him in and forcing him to clear his name, or help him by letting him go so he could try to prove his innocence from out here in the field?

He wasn’t accustomed to indecision like this, and he didn’t like it. The only decision he felt up to making right now was not to make a decision. But until he did feel up to making one, he needed to make sure Drago didn’t take off again.

Moving slowly and painfully, he eased out of the bed and made his way to his gear bag. He rummaged around in it and found what he was looking for. Moving back to Drago’s side, he reached out and slapped Drago’s wrist.

Drago lurched awake and looked down, then looked back up at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? Handcuffs? You handcuffed us together?”

“I need you not to take a runner on me. I’m not up to chasing you right now.”

The disappointment and betrayal in Drago’s dark gaze were too much to bear.

“Really? After last night, you still don’t trust me? What the hell do I have to do? Immolate myself in your name? You do understand that I got away from you last night, right? That I didn’t have to turn around, come back, and save your life?”

“Yeah. I get that.”

“And you get that I kept my word—again—and didn’t take off this morning while you were passed out on painkillers.”

“Yeah.” Okay, he was starting to feel like a heel.

“Wow. I really misjudged you,” Dray said damningly. “I never thought I’d be glad you took off on me ten years ago.” His statement was all the more cutting for its lack of anger. “But now I’m starting to think it might have been for the best, if you’re this incapable of trust.”

Screw feeling like a heel. Now he felt like a full-blown shithead. And to top it all off, he had a smashing headache.

“You keep accusing me of being the runner. But Spencer, you’re the one who keeps running away.”

“I do not.”

“Oh, you may not physically run from me, but you bloody well won’t face whatever’s between us.”

“Whatever is between us—whateverwasbetween us—is history.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, creakily swinging his legs onto the mattress. “This would be easier if you’d come sit on the bed beside me.”

“By all means, let’s accommodate the man on a mission,” Drago replied sarcastically, sitting down on the bed as Spencer moved aside to make room for him. “After all, the only thing that matters is what you want. To hell with my reputation or my career, let alone doing the right thing.”

“You’re being a jerk.”

“Me? You’re the one who just fucking handcuffed us together.”

Spencer’s head was pounding. Fatigue flowed through him, and all he’d done was walk across the room and back. Drago’s body heat was tempting to lean into, the scent of his skin more than tempting to bury his nose in.

“I guess everything between us really is no more than water under the bridge to you, isn’t it?” Drago said bitterly.

His tone made it clear that he felt totally betrayed. Not only because Spencer still planned to take him in, but also because Dray thought something… more… had been developing between them.

So did Spencer. He just didn’t know what it was. And he was scared to death to try to figure it out. As long as they carried on in the weird limbo that currently existed between them, he didn’t have to make any life-changing decisions. Didn’t have to face any hard truths about himself, about his life, about what he wanted for his future.

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