Page 80 of Under One Roof

Rebuilding my wall.

The idea of her not here sends pain straight through me, but I have to endure it for her. Or rather, lock it down so I can continue on. Do what I need to do for my family. For my kids. For her.

I finish my shower and roughly dry off before wrapping the towel around my waist. When I step into the bedroom, Andi’s there waiting for me on the bed. She doesn’t speak.

She doesn’t need to.

Not with how her face gives everything away.

She’s nervous and scared yet still hopeful, and I can’t do anything besides give her what she wants.

She stands up and strips my shirt off herself. I barely have time to acknowledge what she’s doing before she pulls off her underwear and closes the distance between us, loosening my towel until it falls to the floor. Then she clings to me, arms tight around my neck, her breasts to my torso, her cheek against my shoulder, like she wants to be as close as possible to me. Nothing between us.

I bend and her lips find mine, our tongues tangling in their usual dance. Everything is instinct with Andi, like I hadn’t been fully turned on until she came around and flipped the switch, and now I live for her.

My hands are hers. They were useless before I was able to touch her. My arms, they were made to lift her up and carry her to the bed. My breath, it’s for her, to exhale into her lungs and keep her alive.

Lying on top of Andi, our bodies flush, I feel her heart pounding against mine. I memorize this feeling, her skin pressed against mine, the way she sighs when I skim my hands down her side and back up to her breast. I take my time, exploring every inch of her, committing it all to memory. I tell her I love her, whispering it into her skin, hoping the words will seep into her pores, into her blood, into her heart.

I scrape my teeth over her nipple, and she arches, digging her fingernails into my shoulders, and I hope she does it again. Sinks deeper. Leaves a mark.

Like I do to her. I move down her body and latch on to the soft flesh of her inner thigh, sucking on it until she squirms away, groaning, hips roaming. I refuse to give in to her, even as she grabs at my head because I’m too busy pressing on the bruise I left, wishing it were permanent. Something to remember me by.

“Griffin,” she whines, and that’s all I need to kiss the needy spot between her legs. Her responding cry is one of relief, her legs wrapping around my head. When I focus on her clit, her sounds turn shameless, and I curl two fingers inside her, stroking where she needs it. Taking her higher and higher, and my girl isn’t so shy anymore. There is no blushing or hesitation.

No.

My perfect girl tells me, “I’m coming. Griff, I’m coming.”

“I know, baby.”

She rides my face and fingers through it, and when she quiets, muscles relaxed once again, I hold myself above her. “I’m so proud of you. For everything. I’m so fucking proud.”

Her smile is tremulous, and she coasts her hands up my chest, around to my neck, tugging me down to her. She doesn’t care about the mess she left around my mouth and jaw, licking into me like she’ll never have another chance. And that’s what it feels like.

Like maybe this is all we’ll ever have.

I hate it.

Because I love her.

I pause only long enough to get a condom from the nightstand drawer and put it on. Then I’m over her again, burying my face in her neck, inhaling her scent, tasting her skin. I tell her I love her again and again and again. I can’t stop saying it. I can’t stop feeling it.

She holds tight to me, her legs around my waist, arms around my back as I push into her slowly, withdrawing even slower, not wanting to lose any connection to her. I lower to my forearms, so there is absolutely no daylight between us, and sink all the way into her, every part of her body welcoming me in. I couldn’t pull away from her even if I wanted to.

I find a rhythm that is good for both of us, massaging her clit with every shallow thrust of my hips, and there is no heaven like being between Andi’s legs, feeling her wet heat bearing down on my cock, bleeding me dry as I try to burrow further and further into her.

The closer we fly to the edge, the sloppier our kisses get, more searching tongues and biting teeth. Andi trembles and gasps beneath me, her thighs squeezing me, nails scoring my back, and I can’t hold it anymore.

I release with a shudder as she cries out, and I collapse fully onto her.

We stay like that, wrapped in each other, our bodies still joined, as our heartbeats slow and our breaths even out. I press a kiss to her shoulder, her neck, her cheek. Then I tell her I love her one more time as I turn us on our sides, the bedroom that I thought would be ours going quiet once more.

She is slipping away, even as she lies here in my arms. I can feel the distance growing between us, the inevitable goodbye looming over us.

I want to beg her to stay. I want to tell her I can’t live without her. I want to promise her the world, the moon, the stars, anything to make her stay.

But I don’t. I can’t. I won’t hold her back. I won’t keep her from her dreams.

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