Page 81 of Under One Roof

So I commit to memory what her slow, sleepy exhales feel like against my chest, the flutter of her eyelashes against my shoulder.

And then we sleep.

Chapter27

Andi

To say the rest of the day was awkward after Griffin and I woke up from our nap would be an understatement. For the last twenty-four hours, he’s been in planning mode. Because Captain Stone is always prepared. Though it makes our last moments together a lot less romantic than I would like.

I want to go to LA. I want to be with Dahlia and record with her.

But I’ve also found my family here, and it’s difficult for me to see how I can have both of these things at the same time. He thinks we’ll be able to make it work, and I hope we do, but how?

Griffin lives here in Pennsylvania, the kids aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, but my work is in California.

My work.

If I can call it that.

Songwriting isn’t work. It’s love.

Like taking care of Logan and Grace. They aren’t work. Loving them isn’t work.

What is work is packing up my whole life again. This time around, there is so much more, including a heavy heart and multiple stolen T-shirts and hoodies. I didn’t ask Griffin if I could take them because I didn’t want to hear him say no. I need a piece of him—as many pieces of him as I can get—back in California.

I’m not sure how long I’ll be away for, however long it takes us to write and record, which will probably be through the summer, and I can’t stand the thought of not seeing him or the kids in all those months.

Especially after Griffin and I broke the news to the kids last night. They took it on the chin, telling me they were happy for me, but I know Gracie was really upset I’d be missing her talent show, and Logan would barely look at me. I keep telling myself that I am being a good example for them. I’m showing them what it is like for a person to go after their goals, but it’s hard not to feel like a phony because, inside, I’m shriveling up.

I’m scared and nervous and sad to leave them.

I never knew a person could feel like they’re moving in ten different directions, but that’s what it’s felt like. I’m being pulled apart.

When it’s time for me to get going, I knock on Logan’s door and wait for him to tell me to come in before I open it. He’s sprawled out in his bed, intently focused on the Switch in his hands.

I sit at the foot of the bed and place my hand on his ankle. “Hey.”

It takes him a minute before he finally looks at me. Frowning, actually. A good impression of his father. “Hi.”

“I’m going to head out.”

He doesn’t react, aside from a tic in his jaw. Exactly like his dad.

“I wanted to tell you that I loved being here with you. I loved spending time with you, and I hope?—”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters, shifting away so I’m not touching him anymore. I guess he let his emotions simmer overnight and anger boiled to the top.

“Logan, come on, I’m not leaving forever.”

He huffs, skeptical.

“I’m not. I couldn’t. I love you.”

“So then, why are you leaving?”

“Because I can’t pass up this opportunity. It’s huge for me, and your father and I agreed I should go. I promise I’ll come back.”

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I don’t need some big goodbye.”

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