Page 89 of Under One Roof

For the first time in what feels like years, I laugh and open the door to Starbucks. Getting in line, I explain, “I can’t seem to find my groove here. It’s like I’ve lost my creativity.”

“You didn’t lose it. You just need to let it loose again.” She elbows my side hard enough that I have to rub it. “You wrote ‘In Your Dreams’ and ‘Bootlicker,’ the two songs that got me this deal. You are literally the only person I know who can write a catchy chorus about getting ahead of a bootlicker.”

I snicker. Yeah, that was a good one. I wrote it after watching these two guys try to cozy up to Ryder, assuming he’d put them on a record he was working on, and, of course, fail. But it was fun for me to see how far they were willing to crawl up his ass for it.

I order a cold brew with a splash of cream while Dahlia sticks with hibiscus tea, and we take them to go, continuing our walk. Although Los Angeles can be spectacular with amazing scenery and views, having that twenty-four seven here requires a lot of money. Most of us poors deal with traffic and gray buildings all day long. Dahlia stops to take a picture of a colorful tag on the back of a stop sign—she’s got a thing for taking photos of street art for inspiration—and says, “I know you said you want to be here with me, but do you really?”

“Yeah.”

Dahlia snorts. “Real convincing.” When I don’t reply, she wraps her arm around me. “You really miss ’em, huh? Your firefighter and the kids?”

I do. I really, really do. “I know I’m supposed to be happy here, Dahl. This is what I’ve always wanted, and I don’t want you to think this has anything to do with you?—”

“Oh, I don’t.”

This time, I elbow her, and she laughs, stumbling away from me.

“Griffin was so gracious about it all. He told me that I deserved this, and that we could make it work with him being there and me being here, but there has to be another way for me to do this, doesn’t there?” I think back over the too-few months I spent with Griffin and how I learned to ask for what I want, to stop feeling shame about my desires, no matter what they were.

Well, what would this new and improved Andi do?

Ask.

“There is nothing in my contract about me having to work here. Would you be upset if I didn’t?”

Dahlia squints at the sun. “No, not mad, but I would miss you. I do miss you. It’s been hard being away from you.”

“I know. I missed you so much, and I love you to death. You know that, but I need to do something, because this…” I circle my finger in the air, encompassing LA. “It’s not working for me, and it’ll only affect you negatively in the end.”

When Dahlia thinks, she sings. It’s a reflexive action. Like humming or rocking or tapping a pencil. So as we ramble back to the studio, she sings “Levii’s Jeans” by Beyoncé, slowly dragging me out of my head until I’m snapping along to the beat in our heads. At one point, she takes my hand to spin me so I can pretend to be a sexy little thing, even without showering and wearing sweats. The cropped tee and dry shampoo are doing a lot of heavy lifting today.

When we arrive back where we started, Dahlia figures out where I’m going with this line of thinking. “You want to go home?”

“I want to go home,” I repeat with a nod.

“To Pennsylvania with your firefighter and kids.”

“Yeah.”

“So, let’s go.”

I wrench back. “What? You want to come?”

“I’d like to officially meet this little family of yours, and I’ve never been to the other side of the country.”

“You want to meet Griffin and the twins?”

“Of course. You’re my sister. Your family is my family. And hopefully, we can get your hamster back on the creativity wheel. Light a fire under its ass,” she says with a ridiculous wink that has me laughing and hugging her.

But a reminder strikes me. “Oh my god! Gracie’s talent show. It’s on Friday. You think we can make this all happen in two days?”

“I don’t see why not. Besides, I’m fucking tired of Uther. You think we can get rid of him?”

I shrug. “It’s your record. I’m just the songwriter.”

She slings her arm around me. “You’re much more than that. I’m gonna go call Cynthia. I don’t want any men on this album, if I can help it.”

“Name itThe Bear.”

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