Page 66 of Under One Roof

Grace has no idea what I’m talking about.

“I’ll play you some later,” I promise, and she nods.

Dahlia goes on. “They want to start recording next month.”

“Next month?” I echo, surprised. “That’s so soon.”

“I know, right?” Dahlia laughs. “But they’ve got a whole plan mapped out, and I’m not about to slow them down.”

I can’t help but feel a pang of envy. She’s made it. She’s found the yellow brick road. Meanwhile, I’m nowhere close. Even if I love the life I’ve found here in West Chester, I still wonder what it would be like if my time in Los Angeles had been different for me. It feels like a punch in the gut to miss out on what could have been.

And I hate myself for it.

I try pushing all those bothersome feelings aside. “This is incredible, Dahl. I’m so proud of you.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you. Without you, there would never be me.”

I don’t know what to say, so I stay quiet as the kids ask questions about the music industry and what it’s like to perform onstage. Dahlia answers them patiently, her passion for music shining through, as hopelessness takes root in my stomach. Hard as I try to rip out the weeds, they immediately grow back, so fast that I can’t keep up with the conversation, my mind too busy imagining Dahlia’s success and my dreams dead. Flattened in the middle of the road. Crushed by the foot of an ogre. Smashed under hooves at a ranch.

Soon, Dahlia is saying she needs to go because Vic is taking her out to celebrate, and I think I promise to talk later, but I can’t be sure. I press the red button to end the call before looking to Grace and Logan, who both watch me with matching questions in their eyes, eyebrows pinched.

“Are you mad?” Logan guesses, and I shake my head.

“Happy?” Grace guesses, and I nod.

“But you look a little sad,” Logan adds, and I shrug.

Then, moving together, they both hug me.

Grace lays her head on my shoulder. “It’s okay to be sad. That’s what you told me the other day when I was crying.”

I rub my hand on her back, blinking at my tears. “You’re right.”

Logan loosens his grip around my waist to back away, meeting my gaze. “Last year, my friend got to be point guard even though I really wanted to be that position. But I got really good playing forward, and this year, we won almost every game.”

I sniffle. “Yeah, sometimes our friends will be better than us at things we love. We just have to realize that doesn’t make us any worse, or let it get in the way of our friendship, right?”

They both nod and hug me again before I send them back off with kisses to their heads. I follow them to the bottom of the staircase. “Sleep good.”

They turn over their shoulders, and I swear with how they act now, I never would have guessed they’re supervillains because they both smile at me, saying together, “We love you.”

I press my hand to my chest, right over where it cracked open. “I love you too.”

Once they’re upstairs with their doors closed, I bend over, letting the tears flow. Love and heartbreak. Guilt and pride. Gratitude and anger.

It all comes pouring out of me, and it’s not until a long time later that it stops.

Chapter22

Andi

I’m curled up in the living room, staring at the screen saver of Beyoncé in her Cowboy Carter glory on my laptop, when the back door opens. Shoes thump on the floor, keys land in the bowl, bag is placed on the counter, and then Griffin is behind me, wrapping his hands around my face, tipping my jaw so he can kiss me upside down.

“It’s so quiet in here.” He lets go of me to round the couch and sit next to me. “It’s never this quiet.”

I turn to face him, and he frowns.

“What’s wrong?”

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