Page 20 of The Cowboy Complication

“That’s because she’s got Hudson to take care of.” A little pang of sadness tightened her chest. “Since I don’t have that responsibility, it makes sense for me to pitch in whenever I can.”

Cooper was quiet for a few more seconds, but his eyes stayed on her. Focused. Intense.

Like he could see all the broken pieces and insecurity she still carried. It made her feel exposed in a way that didn’t happen when a phone line sat between them.

With the safety of her cell serving as a middle-man, it was so much easier to forget about all the parts of her that got in the way. Easier to just be in the moment and say what she was thinking. How she felt. It gave her room to start figuring out who she was.

But with Cooper standing beside her—his physical presence reminding her how flipping hot he was—all those inhibitions and self-doubt rushed front and center.

“Can I ask you a question?” His voice was soft. Like it often was as it filtered through her phone late at night.

Her belly clenched a little, nervous over what he might ask. So far, Cooper didn’t know much of anything about Eric or her reasons for being in Moss Creek, and part of her wanted to keep it that way. Wanted to have someone who didn’t judge or pity her for what happened. “Okay.”

“Which one of the goats is your favorite?”

A laugh jumped out, riding on the back of relief. “That’s like asking a mother to pick her favorite kid.”

Cooper grinned. “I might ask you that one day too, just to be a pain in the ass.” He tipped his head. “Unless you don’t want to have kids. Then I’ll ask who your favorite Bridge Bitch is. That one will really start some shit.”

She smiled back at him a second before it slipped, dropping a little. Turning back to watch the goats, she tried to ignore the ache of loss tightening her chest. It was silly for it to be there since she hadn’t actually lost anything. Just the idea of something.

But the pain was a stubborn jerk and persisted, digging deep enough to draw a confession. “I do want to have kids. A lot, actually.” She didn’t look at Cooper. Didn’t want to try to guess what he was thinking, or if he even cared.

“Me too.” He shifted around, folding his arms across the top rail of the wood fence and kicking the toe of a boot onto the bottom one. “I thought I’d have at least five by now.”

Her plan to avoid seeing his face was lost at the revelation. “Five?”

He shrugged. “I’m an only child, so I always wanted a big family.” Cooper almost looked sad. “When my parents moved, they asked me to go with them. But I just can’t imagine leaving this place.”

“So you stayed here alone?” For some reason, she’d assumed Cooper’s whole family was here. That he had a big group of people around him. It was hard imagining him all by himself. At least she had her grandpa here part of the time.

Cooper’s lips barely lifted. “It’s not so bad.” His eyes drifted to the house. “I’ve got friends and work and my horses to keep me busy.”

She took a little breath, settling into the unexpected bit of information. The connection it offered. “I’m not an only child, but my brother is fourteen years younger than I am, so I didn’t really get that sibling sort of thing either.”

It had been hard when Ethan was born to adjust to him being the center of everyone’s attention. He was a sweet kid, and she loved the crap out of him, but having him around almost made her feel even more invisible.

Maybe that’s why she clung to the life she was planning with Eric so hard for so long. Some days it felt like all she really had. It wasn’t great, but it was something.

Now she was starting to realize something wasn’t necessarily better than nothing. In the three weeks she’d known Cooper, they’d talked about more than she and Eric had in the past three years.

“Does that mean you want a big family too?” Cooper flashed a grin. “A bunch of little heathens to entertain each other while you play with your goats and chickens?”

A slow smile curved her lips. That actually didn’t sound half bad. “Maybe.” Isla refocused on the pasture. “Not five though.”

Cooper scoffed. “You said you wanted a lot of kids.”

“I said I wanted kids a lot.” She peeked his way. “It was the amount of want, not the amount of kids.”

“Ah.” He tipped his head in a nod. “In that case, I want a lot of kids a lot.” He sighed. “But if it doesn’t happen, I guess I’ll have to get some goats of my own to keep me company.”

She tried to imagine Cooper ending up alone, but it was impossible. He was too handsome. Too kind. Too giving.

It wasn’t any easier to imagine him married though. Picturing him madly in love with a beautiful woman who was ready and willing to pop out all the babies he wanted had her feeling a little sick.

Which was stupid. Cooper was her friend. He’d said it more times than she could count. She should want him to find love and build the family he so clearly desired.

But she didn’t. Not even a little bit.

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