Page 27 of Show Off

“That’s my point. We wanted it to feel authentic.Real.Not overly edited.”

I glance down at my hands. “I guess I never understood what went into a show like this.” I hesitate. “My parents did a lot of TV stuff, back in the day.”

“I’ve seen some of the vintage spots for Yang’s Spicy Sauce Blends.” She watches my face like she thinks I might yell. “They were cute. Very wholesome.”

“Yeah.” I guess that’s how you’d describe the whole family donning chili pepper costumes, with Mom and Dad and Uncle Korain chasing each other with fire extinguishers while camera crews taped it. “My point is that I grew up getting in the spotlight sometimes, but it all felt carefully crafted.”

“That’s advertising, though,” she says. “Not unscripted television.”

I snort because I know what that’s code for. “Isn’t that just a fancy way of saying reality TV?”

Lana winks. “Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.”

The echo of my own words should annoy me, but it doesn’t. “Look, I’ve got concerns with the chowder thing.”

“I’m listening.” She’s not just saying that. I can tell by how she scans my face. How she sits up straighter in her chair. “What’s the issue?”

Where do I start? “When my parents died—”No. Not there.

My mouth dries out and it takes me a few tries to swallow again.

As I study her face, Lana’s eyes fill with sympathy. Not pity, though.

That’s enough to keep me going. “My dad and my uncle built this massive family empire.” The second I say it, I know she understands. The Judsons faced much bigger fame than we ever did. “Yang’s Spicy Sauce Blends were the top-selling condiment in sixteen countries. Family was the core of the brand. Ji-Hoon and I grew up starring in commercials with our parents and our uncle.” The words are coming easier now, but my heart’s still twisted up tight. “I remember this one ad where we pretended to catch our parents kissing in the kitchen and—” My voice breaks again and I give up. As I squeeze my eyes shut, a growl slips out. “Fuck!”

“I know.” She touches my hand, and I suddenly breathe again. When I open my eyes, her blue ones stay locked with mine. “I’ve seen that commercial. It’s sweet.”

The elephant steps off my chest. “You have?” I don’t think it ran in the U.S.

“Yes.” Her eyes don’t leave mine. “Part of our due diligence when we chose you and Ji-Hoon to come to Juniper Ridge.”

“Ah.” I wonder what else she knows.

Maybe not this. “We were driving from my parents’ place in Seoul to my uncle’s second home in Busan when the accident happened.” I pull some air through my lungs. “Ji-Hoon was sixteen, and I was twelve, and we were dicking around in the backseat like stupid boys do.”

“I know how that goes.” Fondness and sympathy swirl in her eyes. “I have three brothers.”

“Yeah.” I drag a hand through my hair. “Mom warned us two or three times to cut it out, but we were little dipshits.” I can see she understands that part, too. “Dad finally got fed up. He turned around to yell at us and—bam!” I clap and she jumps and I feel like a dick again. “The truck came from a side street. We never even saw it.”

Her eyelashes flutter like she’s blinking back tears. “They died instantly?”

“Dad did.” My throat feels tight. “Mom was in a coma for a while. My dad’s twin brother and I took turns staying with her and with Ji-Hoon.” Uncle Korain and I didn’t leave that damn hospital for weeks. “My uncle’s big on the power of positive thinking.”

When I pause, Lana fills in the blank. “Is that why you’re not much of a glass-is-half-full guy?”

“Kinda.” It goes deeper than that, though. “He was so sure we could manifest positive outcomes.” I pitch my voice to sound like Uncle Korain. “‘Believe your brother will walk again, Dal, and it will be so.’ I fucking believed it with every inch of my twelve-year-old body. ‘Your motherwillwake up, boys—count on it. All you must do isbelieve.’”

“Jesus.” Lana swipes at her eyes. “That’s a lot of pressure to put on a kid.”

Tell me about it. “I don’t want to bore you with details?—”

“None of this is boring, Dal.” She puts a hand on my arm and my breath hitches. “This played out in the media?”

She’s always one step ahead. “Yeah. By then, the Yang family was sort of a well-known commodity. Folks saw us on TV and thought they knew us, right?”

“Yes.” Her eyes say she very much gets it. “I understand completely.”

“Uncle Korain became the family spokesperson. He was on TV constantly with updates. Telling the public what they wanted to hear. Doctors would say something encouraging, and he’d take it and twist it and go on TV. He said it was all about giving them hope.” I believed him then. Now? “Maybe it was more about selling sauces.”

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