Page 89 of Show Off

“Lana recovered from that bit of parental neglect.” Shirleen chuckles and closes the book, her daughter smiling beside her. “That’s a chapter from my new memoir,Lemon Light.”

Jamila holds up her copy as the audience claps. “A reference to your breakout film,The House on Lemon Lane.”

“That’s right.” Shirleen looks at Lana and puts a hand over hers. “Seems like ages ago. This little sweetheart wasn’t even a twinkle in her daddy’s eye back then. We didn’t start having kids right away, and Lana’s the youngest of six.”

“Six babies, hoo boy.” Jamila pretends to faint. “I don’t know how you do it.”

Lana pipes up there. “And doesn’t she look gorgeous?” She gestures to her mother, and the audience erupts with applause. I don’t think the teleprompter ordered it. That’s all Lana. “My mom cornered the market on aging gracefully.”

“I’ll say.” Jamila shifts to a more serious tone. “You and Laurence Judson are one of Hollywood’s longest married couples. What’s the secret?”

Lana stiffens, and so does Shirleen. Something tells me they didn’t prepare for this.

“Not on the approved question list,” Cassidy whispers.

“No kidding.”

“Mutual respect, Jamila.” Shirleen’s improv answer isn’t half bad. “That, and a sense of humor.”

“I hear you.” Jamila keeps going, all serious now. “I imagine you’ve had some bumps along the way?”

“Haven’t we all?” Shirleen laughs, but there’s a brittleness in her voice that wasn’t there before. “You can’t be married as long as we have without wanting to kill each other every now and then.”

Another chuckle from the audience and I think maybe we’ll get through this. Maybe things won’t turn awkward.

“I’m sure this won’t come as a surprise,” Jamila says, though it’s clear from Lana’s posture that it does. “But Christie Chaplin has a few things to say about your marriage inherupcoming memoir.”

“Does she now?” Shirleen’s still smiling, but the daggers in her eyes could stab Jamila Jarrett dead. “Well. We go way back, Christie and me.”

That’s the host’s chance to let it go, but she keeps pushing. “Not very nice things, I’m afraid.”

Lana rests a hand on her mom’s arm. It’s a subtle touch, something meant to keep her mom in line.

“Well.” Shirleen smiles stiffly. “I’m sure it’s not a shock to anyone to hear Christie Chaplin was sorely disappointed not to get my part inLemon Lane. We all got over it, though. Water under the bridge.”

Lana steps in to steer us back on track. “Hollywood had no shortage of catty stories back in the day,” she says smoothly, smiling at the audience. “That’s why it’s so important to Mom to lift up other women through her work with?—”

“Hang on, hang on.” Jamila holds up a hand, and I know whatever’s next won’t be a softball. “I just need to find this chapter inUpstage.”

As she pulls out another book, I see an image of Christie Chaplin smiling from the creased cover of a hardback. My father was a fan, so I’ve seen my share of Christie Chaplin films. This must behermemoir.

And from the look on Lana’s face, she didn’t expect this.

“Christie’s coming on the show tomorrow.” Jamila flips to a bookmarked page as Lana goes pale. “A last-minute treat for all our viewers out there.”

“Oh,” says Shirleen, with a glance at her daughter.

Lana’s jaw clenches, but her smile doesn’t waver. “What a treat.”

“I know we had Trixie Penfold scheduled as tomorrow’s guest,” Jamila continues, still flipping through the pages of Christie’s book. “But wouldn’t you know she went into labor this morning? Let’s have a round of applause for Trixie and her new bundle of joy.”

The audience claps, and Lana claps, too, nudging her mom to do likewise. Shirleen might be scowling if her face functioned like a normal one. Her forehead looks like someone ironed it.

“Ah, here we go.” Jamila clears her throat. “This is from Christie’s chapter called, ‘Skanks Gonna Skank.’” She surveys the viewers with a meaningful look over the spine of the book. “We can ask her more about that title tomorrow.”

Another chuckle from the audience as Jamila begins to read.

“I know polyamory and ethical non-monogamy are all the rage these days, but that wasn’t a thing when Rick and I married.”

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