Page 97 of Show Off

Um…okay?

I force a straight face in case he’s still torn up about this. “Thank you for sharing.”

“Just thought you should know.” Dean frowns like he’s maybe not making the right point. “We all have shit we don’t tell each other.”

Lauren nods sagely, doing a worse job than I did at keeping a straight face. “And we appreciate you popping the cork with that gem.”

“Does Vanessa know?” Coop leans away in case Dean throws another jab. “Like do you guys have rubber sheets or separate beds or?—”

“I said Iused to, asshole.” Dean looks disgusted, but he’s not. I can tell they’re all trying to cheer me. It’s a Judson ensemble cast, and everyone’s playing a role. “I’m sharing my shit, so Lana knows she’s not alone.”

Mari presses her lips together. “And I, for one, want to acknowledge your growth and personal development as a?—”

“Yes, Gable?” Lauren points to our second-oldest brother, who’s holding his hand in the air. “You have something you’d like to share?”

Gabe drops his hand like a school kid called on in class. “I was terrified to have a baby,” he says, glancing around a bit sheepishly. “I thought for sure I’d screw it up and almost told Gretchen I couldn’t be a dad because I thought I’d be awful at it.” He gives a lopsided grin and shrugs. “Guess I got over that.”

“And we’re glad you did.” Coop grins. “You make cute babies.”

“Thanks.” Gabe’s smile lights up my living room. “I might’ve had some help in that department.”

“Speaking of sex,” Lauren says, like it’s a natural segue. “I didn’t have it until I was twenty-five.”

“What?” That can’t be right. “But you dated that director for a whole year when you were nineteen.” Though now that I think about it, I always kinda guessed he was gay. “You never slept with him?”

“Publicity stunt,” she confirms, crossing her arms. She won’t betray the guy’s sexuality, even now. “I’m serious. I’ve only been with two men besides Nick.”

I’m struggling to wrap my head around this. For most of my youth, my big sister’s love life made national news. “What about all those stories about you and that French actor—what was his name?”

“Jean-Pierre,” says Mari dreamily as Lauren rolls her eyes.

“Because the media gets things rightevery time,” she mutters, giving me a meaningful glance.

“Touché.” I glance at Cooper, who’s inched to the edge of the loveseat.

He draws a deep breath and puts his hands on his knees. “I relapsed once and never told you.” Ignoring a gasp from Lauren, he keeps going. “Not long before we bought this place? I told you all I had a commercial shoot in Dubai, but instead I checked myself into Hazelden. I’ve been clean ever since, though.”

My siblings all murmur support as I get up and give Cooper a hug. “You’re so brave.” I squeeze my brother so hard he grunts. “I love you, Coop.”

On the loveseat behind me, Mari speaks. “I hate Soph’s mother. Griffin’s ex?” I turn to face her, taken aback by the heat in her eyes. “I mean, Ireally hate her. I hate her so goddamn much! And I know that’s not professional as her former therapist, and I know I’m supposed to respect her as my co-parent and Soph’s stepmom, but sometimes I want to grab that woman by the hair and just drag her around like a ragdoll and then punch her in the face and spit on her crotch as I tell her she’s nothing but a cheap, trashy excuse for a—what?”

We all stare at Mari. Every last one of us, Lauren and Gabe and Dean and Cooper. I’m not sure who laughs first. Maybe me.

I laugh so hard I’ve got tears rolling down my face. At some point, the tears turn to sobs. Cooper rubs my back, making slow, careful circles on my spine. Eventually, I stop crying.

“I love you guys.” I sniffle and take the hankie Mari gets up to hand me. “So much.”

“We love you, too.” Lauren holds me tighter in a side hug. “And we know you love Dal.”

“I do,” I admit, wishing I didn’t. “But I hate himso muchright now.” Glancing at Mari, I amend that. “Not enough to drag him around by the hair and spit on his crotch, but?—”

“We must never repeat that,” she says stoically. “That was one of my regrettable, unenlightened moments.”

Cooper’s working hard not to grin. “And we love that you have those.”

I swipe at my eyes, then blow my nose in the hankie Mari handed me. This might actually be a burp cloth or a nursing pad, and I’m thrown right back to my mother’s story.

“You know what’s most upsetting?” I continue before they start guessing. “I told Dal the secret I’ve never told anyone, and he went and broadcast it on national TV.”

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