Page 33 of The Upgrade

“Don’t ever—ever—make me choose between you and Camille.” I stared him down until he held up his palms in surrender. “You won’t like my choice.”

He backed off after that, though he never tried to hide his irritation. Each time I hung out with Sara and Camille, he’d get huffy. I could live with that fine, and Camille rolled her eyes when he’d give them the cold shoulder.

“Fuck.” Pulling myself back to our beachfront phone chat, I draw a deep breath and exhale an awkward laugh. “Sorry. Went kinda dark for a second there.”

Camille chuckles. “Want me to spew more penis euphemisms that sound like food? Boney cannelloni, meatsicle, frank-n-beans, kosher pickle, pork sword…”

“Okay, okay.” My shoulders relax now that we’re back on a lighthearted track. “Seriously though, I’m glad you pushed me to come here.”

“Me, too. Tell me more about the sex workers. Please say they’re not impoverished souls forced into selling their bodies.”

“Definitely not.” I’ve chatted with several consorts since I got here. “They have men from all over the world. Women, too. They all seem happy, and not in a fake way.”

“Do they have to be out hustling clients like street prostitutes?”

“No, that’s the great thing.” I feel oddly protective of Kit and his colleagues. “Consorts are salaried. They’re not actually paid to have sex. We’re not even allowed to tip them. They get generous benefits, paid time off, full use of spa services?—”

“You must have grilled someone, huh?” She gives a fond little laugh. “I’ve always loved how much you care about people.”

I think about Kit and his research. How he’s here to make sure consorts are happy. Something warm pools in the pit of my belly and I drag my thoughts off Camille’s brother.

She can’t know about this.

“It’s not all sex, all the time,” I tell her. “They also have non-sex forms of bliss.”

“Like what?”

“Spa stuff and Pilates and this whole room filled with rescue kittens and another with puppies.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. I guess they figure we need pleasurable moments not involving genitals?”

Camille laughs. “Are you scheduling a kitten petting?” She groans. “I just heard that come out of my mouth.”

“My massage was actually called the Bliss Kitty Sensuous Surprise.”

She snorts. “Are they trying to be cheesy?”

“I don’t think so. Also, big nope to petting puppies and kittens. I can do that at home.”

“Atta girl.” Camille chuckles. “Maybe I’ll get engaged, just so I can break it off and hit the Jilted Brides Honeymoon Club.” She sounds like she’s teasing, but there’s an edge to her voice.

“Camille? Is everything okay?”

“Absolutely.” She switches the subject quickly. “Christine and Courtney say hello. And Clara watered your plants this morning.”

“I’ve been gone twenty-four hours.”

“You know how they are. Sisters get smothered with love.” My friend’s voice turns thoughtful. “I think that’s why they took it so hard when Miranda broke Kit’s heart and cut us off. Nothing’s more painful than someone rejecting your love.”

My throat squeezes tight and I nod. “That must have been hard for Kit.”

“It’s strange now, thinking you know him. That yousleptwith him.” She starts to sound stilted. “I’m so used to talking about him as someone you don’t know. I didn’t expect it to feel this weird.”

“Weird how?” Guilt creeps up my throat and I swallow.

“It’s hard to describe. I guess I liked having separation between my superhero big brother and my high school bestie. Like you existed in different worlds or something.”

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