Page 43 of The Upgrade

“More or less. We were already keeping separate apartments at that point, since she was teaching near Liverpool and I had a research grant for a study based in London.”

“I haven’t been anywhere in the UK,” I admit. “But it sounds like in some ways you already lived separate lives.”

“That should have been a sign she wanted something completely different than I did. She told me over and over how she didn’t want to be tied down. That being in a relationship felt like beingstuck. I’m the one who didn’t listen.”

“I mean, you were in a relationship for the better part of a decade.”

Kit sighs and looks out over the moonlit sea. “Sometimes it feels like we were having two completely different experiences. Two relationships, one in each of our minds.” He chuckles and offers a halfhearted shrug. “I’ll admit it, the rejection stung like hell. And it’s hard not to take it personally when someone says, ‘No, I don’t want to marry you.’ That’s what I kept hearing in my head. What she actually said was, ‘No, I don’t want to get married.’”

“Ah, I get it.” That does make a difference. “It wasn’t personal. She wasn’t rejecting you, but the idea of marriage.”

“Pretty much.” Kit smiles. “I believe how she put it was, ‘You want the white picket fence, and I want a fucking yard full of flamingoes.’”

“Flamingoes?” I laugh. “Isn’t that a symbol for the swinger lifestyle?”

“It can be.” Kit shrugs. “They can also symbolize balance and grace. In ancient Egypt, they were represented in hieroglyphics as the god Ra, and Aztecs viewed them as a symbol of love and passion. People ate flamingoes in ancient Rome, and the tongue was considered a delicacy.” Wincing, he shakes his head. “There I go, turning a playful metaphor into a fucking sociology lesson.”

“I think it’s charming.” I’ve always been smitten with smart boys. “I hope you find what you’re after. For that matter, I hope Miranda does, too.”

“Guess you didn’t get a chance to meet the new boyfriend.” Kit meant to introduce me at the event, but we kept missing each other. “He’s a professional rugby player, so he’s gone all the time. Miranda has her space, so I’m sure she’s happier. Like I said, it wasn’t personal.”

“That’s such a healthy attitude.” I could learn something from Kit.

“It wasn’t a rejection of me as a partner. More like marriage as an institution. The idea of being stuck with one person forever.”

“To each their own.” I just hope Camille and the rest of the sisters can let go of their anger eventually. “Probably smart to give yourself this opportunity.”

“Opportunity?”

I grin and take a small sip of my wine. “The chance to fuck tons of strangers on a tropical island. Sounds very therapeutic.”

Kit laughs and knocks back the last of his wine. “Speaking of which, I got a hot tip at orientation.”

“Oooh, do tell.”

He leans close like he’s sharing a secret. “Your threesome desires are common, which means consorts book up quickly. If there’s something specific you want, or someone you’d like to request?—”

“Ah, got it.” I grab my phone out of my purse. “Hang on.”

“I didn’t mean right this minute.”

“Shhh.” I hold up a hand, tapping the tabs with my thumb. Gotta give props to the Crystal Bliss tech team for the app’s ease of use. “I’m a very busy woman, Kit,” I tease as I toggle my screen. “Things to do, strangers to f—hey! Give me that.”

He holds up my phone with mirth in his eyes. “Did you just shush me?”

“It was more of ashhhthan ashush.” I make a halfhearted grab for my phone, but really?

I want him to look.

He starts to hand back the phone without a glance at the screen, but something must catch his eye. He draws it back to read it. “You’re requesting a session with Topher?Tonight?”

“Trying to.” I sigh as he hands back the phone. “But it looks like you’re booked for the rest of the evening.”

“I am.” Folding his arms on the table, he leans close. There’s heat in his eyes and a rasp in his voice that prickles the hairs on my arms. “Want to know what I’ll be doing?”

My pulse ticks up at that rasp. “What?”

His eyes lock with mine and he smiles. “You.”

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