Page 71 of The Upgrade

“Sounds like he knows what he’s doing.”

“He does.” I pray she never finds out we’re discussing her brother.

“What kind of name is Topher, anyway? Sounds Greek.”

“Um, maybe?” God, I hate lying to Camille. “I should go. I need to book this boat trip before eight a.m.”

“Love you, sweetie.”

“I love you, too. Can you tell Sara hi? I haven’t been able to reach her.”

“She had a big date with Trent last night. Seemed kinda nervous about it.”

“Really?” Sara and Trent are the world’s sweetest couple. They met in high school and have been together for years. “I hope everything’s okay.”

“She said he’s been acting mysterious. I reminded her he’s a freakin’ Navy SEAL. If he wasn’t secretive, he’d be pretty bad at his job.”

“I hope that’s all it is.” I can’t stand the thought of our young friend getting hurt.

“Maybe we can plan a call later today. See how she’s doing together.”

“I’d like that.” I really do need to go. “Let’s chat later?” There’s an ache in my chest from missing my friends.

Or maybe that’s not what I’m feeling. It feels more like guilt sifting sandy and hot through my lungs. I hate keeping secrets from Camille. “I miss you.”

“Miss you, too.” She laughs. “Have fun getting boned on a boat!”

She clicks off before I can reply.

It takes me a few minutes to schedule the boat trip. I fill out some waivers for the snorkeling lesson, and there’s a section to choose all my add-ons.

Pirate role play?

No thank you.

Topless sunbathing deck?

Maybe. I’d at least like the option.

Being handcuffed to a deck rail to enact a drowning and rescue roleplay?

Hell no.

But I admire the creativity.

Exhibitionist play with optional vibrating panties?

I hesitate on that one. Wasn’t I wanting to give that a shot?

I tick the box, because why the hell not? I can always change my mind if I’m not in the mood.

When I get to the section for choosing a consort, I hesitate. It’s tempting to request him. Kit knows my body, and I love spending time with him.

But Camille’s words float through my brain.

“What happens when you fall too quickly into a new intimate relationship is that you bring all your unresolved issues with you and project them onto the new partner.”

Am I doing that? I don’t think so. But it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve lost sight of myself with a man.

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