Page 75 of The Upgrade

“Watching you, sorta.” She gives us a helpless shrug. “I was raised to think a certain way about marriage and sex. But now that you’re rethinking things, maybe I should, too.”

“Wow.” That’s a surprise. She’s always been so…traditional. “He said no?”

“It’s fine, he’s probably right.” Sara makes a face. “It’ll be more special if we wait just a little bit longer.”

Camille pulls her in for another big hug. “I’m proud of you, honey.” She catches my eye over Sara’s shoulder, and we exchange a delicate look. Both of us worry sometimes about Sara. “It’s a big deal to speak up like that. To negotiate sexuality with open conversations.”

“No kidding. I think I suck at that part.” Sara gives a self-conscious laugh. “I love him so much.”

“And he loves you.” I adore Trent, too, and can’t blame Sara for wanting to bang him. “You have an insanely hot, devoted fiancé who wants to make sure you have no regrets. It’s sweet, in a way.”

“I know,” Sara says, blushing a little. “I’m very lucky. It’ll be fine. I’m great, you guys. So happy!”

I’m sensing she wants to be done talking about this. “How about you, Camille?” I probe. “Everything good with Hayden?”

“Oh, you know Hayden.” She waves a dismissive hand. “He’s working a lot, but what’s new?” She says it with fondness, but there’s an edge in her voice I’ve never noticed before.

“Things are good though, right?” Sara probes.

“Absolutely.” Camille sounds like she means it, so I try to ignore my niggle of worry. “We’re not really the romantic type, you know? When you’ve been together this long?—-”

“Nine years, right?” Sara’s always seemed mystified that they don’t tie the knot. “Or is it ten?”

“Something like that.” Camille shrugs. “Maybe we’ll elope someday. It’s not really a priority, you know? We’re both so focused on work.” Clapping her hands, she signals she’s done with that line of discussion. “Come on, Eve—give us more dirt. Tell us more about the sex resort.”

“It must be so interesting,” Sara says, “having the option to sleep with every hot guy you see. Like,boom!—there’s another hot guy to have sex with. And another. And another. And?—”

“You’re right, it’s freeing.” And noteworthy, maybe, that I keep coming back to Kit Plier. “I’m grateful in a way that Brock set me free.”

Camille snorts. “That’s a generous take on things.”

“I’m glad I didn’t marry him,” I amend. “The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced marriage isn’t for me.”

“Marriage toBrock.” Sara makes a face. “You dodged a bullet there.”

“No joke.” Even as I say it, I’m starting to wonder. Not about Brock, but my stance on commitment.

I’m one hundred percent sure my mother’s marriage wouldn’t work for me. Neither would Sara and Trent’s more traditional partnership. Even Camille’s parents’ union—sweet as it was—feels stifling. Co-dependent in a way, which I’d never say to Kit or Camille.

But what if that’s not all there is? What if that emotional connection I seem to require could exist in the same realm as the freedom and curiosity I crave in my sex life?

“Oh!” Camille bounces a little like she does when she has big news. “Speaking of marriage, you’ll never guess what happened.”

“Dish.” I take a sip of my drink and wave to Sybil and Kora. They’re strolling the beach hand in hand, both of them barefoot and smiling. “What happened?”

Camille settles back on her sofa. “I feel a little bad telling you before Kit, but he’s not returning my calls.”

A weird little wiggle of worry crawls down my spine. “Tell me what?”

“That bitch, Miranda.”

I swallow a lump as Camille keeps going. “You know how she swore up and down that she’d never get married?”

“No judgment,” I say, just a little too quickly.

“You might not say that in a sec.” Camille looks positively scandalized. “I ran into Miranda at The Nines.”

“That fancy hotel downtown?”

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