Page 92 of The Upgrade

“This conversation is confidential, correct?”

“Absolutely.”

Holyfield looks out the window. “In a past life, Dr—er,Christopher—I made very poor choices with intimate relationships.” He sounds so sincere that it’s easy to ignore the near slip. “My frivolity in the past compromised my ability to establish a marriage and fatherhood. To be there for the people I loved.”

Damn.

I researched the man before coming here, but I had no idea Ashton Holyfield had been married. “That sounds painful.”

“Indeed.” He studies my face like he’s not sure whether to say more. “It was my fault, of course. I wasn’t honest and it cost me. Cost me everything in the long run.” The pain in his eyes becomes palpable and he glances away. “I don’t wish that fate on any of my employees. I’m sure you understand.”

I’m not sure I do, but I’m sensing he’s done with the sharing. “Of course.” I hesitate. “If it helps, I believe my time at Crystal Bliss has underscored my own ability to form meaningful connections that start from an intimate place.”

He gives me another long stare. “Would this be the lone guest you…enchanted?”

“Yes.” Might as well be honest. “We, uh—knew each other before arriving here. Neither of us realized the other would be coming to Crystal Bliss, but we reconnected here.”

“And it was a satisfying experience for you both?”

Is he still focused on his own baggage, or something more? “Yes,” I say slowly. “I believe it was.”

“And there was mutual respect, pleasure, and connection?”

“Yes.” My heart squeezes tight as this icy-eyed man stares me down. “I believe so.”

“I see.” He studies me over the top of his desk. “Will you be seeing this woman—” He pauses. “Thispersonafter your time here has ended?”

“Woman,” I say. “And no.”

His eyes sear mine as he stares long enough for the silence to feel ominous. “With all due respect,” he says finally, “why the fuck not?”

* * *

My bizarre meetingwith Holyfield leaves me feeling unsettled.

Unsettled and shitty for not being honest. Isn’t that at the crux of what Holyfield said?

“I wasn’t honest, and it cost me. Cost me everything in the long run.”

I haven’t been honest with myself about what I’m doing here. How I’ve struggled to shed this sense of Kit as the un-fun guy.

I haven’t been honest with my family, either.

Not with the mother who raised me, or the sisters who think I’m some kind of hero. Do I really believe they’d think less of me for coming here? For doing this cutting-edge research at a place devoted to women’s pleasure?

Back in my room, I pick up my Crystal Bliss pager. Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I scroll through the portal to see who Eve’s been dating.

There’s a lunch date with Jacques from Canada, but no specified add-on. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, and I wouldn’t judge one bit if it did.

There’s a spa day tomorrow, but she’s booked it with two other women. Sexual? Maybe. Good for her if it is. Same tidings if it’s not.

I scroll to the bottom, and there it is.

Eve’s booked a Sexy Seesaw for her final night here. I flip through the info, searching for details I don’t deserve to know.

Who did Eve pick for her final experience? Heart in my throat, I toggle to the consort preferences screen.

Logan.

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