Page 96 of The Upgrade

“Just a sec.” Checking my kiss-proof lipstick in the mirror, I walk to the door in strappy high heels that feel overly formal for someone not leaving this room.

I paste on a smile and swing open the door. “I’m so glad you’re h—Kit?” I blink as his face comes into focus. “What are you doing here?”

He’s dressed in the same linen slacks he wore the day of our threesome with Sybil, and he’s holding a large cardboard box. A snug white t-shirt hugs his biceps, and his expression is one of grim determination.

Then his eyes sweep my body and he swallows.

“God, Eve—you’re so fucking stunning it hurts.” He shakes his head slowly, closing his eyes for a second. “And I’m a fucking idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.” Mostly.

“I can be. I certainly was a few days ago.” Setting the box on my entryway table, he catches my hands in his. “I’m so unbelievably sorry for pushing you away when I panicked. For not talking things through when I got caught up in my head. I’m sorry, Eve. You deserved better, and I let you down.”

“I—thank you.” I swallow hard, willing myself not to cry. My mascara’s not waterproof and Logan will be here any minute.

But this feels more important right now. “Are you doing okay?”

“Now that I’m touching you?” He looks down at my hands cupped in his, then turns his face up with a wobbly smile. “Yeah, and that should have been my first clue. I’m more grounded with you, Eve. Just having you in my orbit makes me feel like everything’s okay. But touching you, talking with you, seeing your beautiful face light up—” He stops and shakes his head like he can’t quite believe it. “It’s a fucking miracle.”

The passion in his voice gets me teary-eyed again. “I’m glad. I feel the same way, Kit. I’ve been worried about you.”

“And I love that about you. How caring and considerate you are, it’s a goddamn gift.” He squeezes my hands, looking deep in my eyes. “I had some stuff to figure out, and I executed that poorly. I was reeling and butthurt and got caught up thinking I wasn’t enough for you. That you’d be better off not stuck with me.”

“Stuck?” I don’t know where to start with that. “Stuckwith a good looking, intelligent professional who’s also funny and charming and great in bed?” I swear he’s delirious. “Kit, Ilikespending time with you. Naked or clothed. It just feels good being around you, whether it’s a threesome or a dinnertime chat about spanking yourself in the nuts. Being with you makes me happy. Don’t you get that?”

“I’m starting to, yeah.” He shakes his head slowly. “I feel the same way about being with you, and I think I just freaked out just a little. It seemed too good to be true. Too fast, too fucking perfect. But feelings don’t always unfold on a timeline.” He winces. “Shit. I think I just quoted my ex-girlfriend’s new book.”

I frown. “I thought you hadn’t read it.”

His face gets a little bit sheepish. “That’s part of what I’ve been doing these past couple days.” Letting go of my hands, he drags his fingers through his already rumpled hair. “Thinking about what I needed to learn from the past. What lessons I could take into a future with you.”

I blink. “A future?”

“That’s what I want, Eve.” His blue eyes search mine. “A chance to see how we could be together outside the bubble of this place. I feel this soul-deep connection with you, like we’ve known each other forever. Maybe it’s the link with my family, but I don’t think so, Eve—I think it’sus.”

“Us,” I breathe, liking the sound of that. “I know what you mean. I feel it, too.”

“Can you ever forgive me? For thinking I knew better than you did what you needed. That was shitty of me, considering how many men in your life have done that before. I won’t make any excuses, but I can promise I’ll do everything in my power not to make that mistake again. I want to be someone who lifts you up and empowers you instead of dragging you down.”

“You’re forgiven, Kit.” Tears choke my voice, but they’re happy tears. Grateful ones. “I want everything you’re describing. A chance to see what we could be together in the real world.”

His smile is so huge it takes up half his face. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

“I might have a clue.” I’m grinning, too, like a goofy little kid.

More of the tension seems to ease from his shoulders. “These past few days without you gave me a lot of time to think. I realized Miranda’s rejectionwaspersonal—but not in a way that means I’m inherently flawed as a partner. We just weren’t right foreach other, plain and simple.”

“I know what you mean.” And I’m glad he recognizes it. “Same thing with Brock. I think I just liked the idea ofmeas a person settled and married and normal—” My breath snags in my throat and I laugh. “But I understand now that’s not me at all. And I like this version of Eve so much better.”

“God, so do I. I’m fucking nuts about her.” He smiles into my eyes, then tilts his head toward the box. “I have something for you. For all the Eves inside you—past, present, and future.”

“Intriguing.” I study the thick cardboard flaps, curious what’s inside. “You didn’t steal kittens from that enchantment room, did you?”

Chuckling, he opens the flaps. “Not quite. I thought we should start our new chapter with a few things dedicated to building our own traditions. Our own version ofnormal, but with indulgence and fun and play built into it.”

“I like the sound of that.” I laugh as he pulls out the first item. It’s an oblong package with a photo of a half-clad couple locked in an octopus tangle of limbs. “Is that a sex swing?”

“Top of the line. I got it in the onsite shop.” He sets the package on the table beside me and I study the picture more closely. “Not saying you just have to use it with me, but I’d like to witness you at least once having fun with it. Reclaiming that pleasure for yourself.”

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