“Can you—” I started to say and then stopped. No. That was a bad idea.
“I’m sorry,” I said. Guess the apologizing was contagious.
“What are you sorry for?” she asked, finally uncovering her mouth. Hers looked the same as well. No changes for either of us.
“I don’t know.”
The two of us just stood there in her apartment in bewildered silence until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Can I ask you something?” The words came out before I was ready.
“What is it?” Her tone was soft, and I had to close my eyes for a minute. I opened them again and said the words that could change everything.
“The list said ‘kiss a girl’ so I have to be the one doing the kiss. And you just kissed me, so it doesn’t count. Because of the rules.”
Her eyebrows rose. “There are rules? I didn’t see those.”
I nodded like a bobble head. “Yeah, there are rules. Like with the skinny-dipping. I had to actually swim for it to count.”
“Oh. Okay.” She licked her lips and I watched the path of her tongue.
Was I really doing this? I mean, I’d already done it once. What was one more kiss? I could delete it from my list since I hadn’t gotten a chance to dance on a bar last night.
“Sooooo, can I kiss you?” I asked. Words that I never thought I would say, least of all to James St. Clair.
My world had turned upside down in the past few weeks. Why not go with it?
“Yes,” she said, taking a shaking step toward me again. This time I was the one who reached for her. Tilting her face down. I’d never put so much time and concentration into a kiss before. Not even my first one, which had happened in sixth grade at a birthday party and was over so fast it was like it hadn’t even happened.
I was putting so much care into it because of the Fuckit List. It had to be documented. Like you have to get verified for the World Records book.
“Okay, this is for the list,” I said, only a whisper away from her mouth.
She was shaking just a little bit. Tremors went through her and I almost asked if she was okay, but I wanted to get this kiss over with so I could be done with it.
I gave her a second to say no, but she didn’t, so I gently pressed my lips to hers. My plan had been to count to five and stop.
Instead, I kissed her. And kept kissing her. I couldn’t help it! Her lips were really fucking soft and she tasted so damn good and I could smell her so much better and I think I might have lost my mind. It wasn’t until she made a little whimpering sound at the same time as I’d run my tongue along her lower lip that a tiny bit of sanity returned to me and I yanked myself away from her.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry!” More apologies. Endless apologies between us.
“What the hell wasthat?”
Chapter Twenty
James
HadI created today in my imagination? Only a few hours ago I’d thought there was absolutely no way in hell that I would be kissing Delaney and now we’d kissed. Twice.
And she’d been the one who asked! Because of some sort of weird bucket list thing, but still.
I couldn’t get ahead of myself. This kiss was just a thing on her list to check off. It didn’t mean anything. Right?
Now Delaney looked a little horrified, stumbling away from me and turning her back to me. I heard a sniffing sound and said her name.
“Delaney?”
She faced me and I saw that she was crying. Oh shit.