Page 10 of Unstoppable You

The restof the week was a blur of work and social media posts and consultations and sending invoices and website maintenance. Being self-employed wasn’t for the faint of heart. I also managed to make it to the library and came home with a stack of books, and I hit another Pilates class, but didn’t see Delaney.

Friday morning, I woke up with a pit of dread in my stomach. I’d written out a list of all the things I wanted to say, but I knew Delaney enough to know that she wouldn’t be impressed by me reading from a list on my phone like a shitty influencer doing an apology video. It was helpful for gathering my thoughts, but in the moment, I was going to speak from the heart. Seeing her in front of me was going to give me the right words. Hopefully.

I changed out of my work clothes and shut down for the day over an hour before I needed to meet Delaney. Taking that much time to get ready was probably excessive, but I wanted to show up looking my most confident and feeling my best.

We had both changed from the girls we were in school. I’d done a lot of hiding who I was under makeup and clothes that I’d hated but were considered in-style. I’d also dyed my hair and shaved and gotten spray tans and bought skirts at the mall.

When I’d finally gotten away for college in a new place, I’d realized that I’d been in a tiny bubble of conformity and I didn’t have to swim in it anymore. No one was going to care if I wore the right jeans. The right shoes. If my hair was the right shade.

I’d gone a little wild my freshman year, trying a ton of different hair colors and styles (including an all-black era) until I started building a style that felt like me.

Other changes had followed. I stopped pretending I didn’t like to read, I stopped pretending that I liked movies with shirtless men. The evolution from who I was in high school to the true version of myself was rough, but I’d gotten through it and now I was on the other side, a lesbian with a septum piercing who had two-tone hair and sometimes wore a sports bra that flattened my chest because it felt good.

I laid out three options and finally selected a green romper with a leaf pattern on it that had ruffled straps and added a baggy white cardigan that I’d crocheted during a particularly bad month about a year ago. I pulled my hair back in a loose bun, pulling a few strands out to frame my face. Makeup was simple and light, and I adjusted my septum piercing. Sometimes it got wonky and went sideways and I hated that.

One last look in the mirror and I grabbed my bag before taking a shaky breath and locking my door. The café was close enough to walk, so I strolled down the street, checking the time to make sure I wasn’t going to be late, my heart pounding double time in my chest, like an overhyped marching band.

The closer I got, the more anxiety fizzed in my veins. For a half a second, I considered canceling. I checked my phone to see if she’d sent me a “sorry, never mind” message, but there was nothing.

A man exiting the café held the door for me, and I gave him a tight smile before walking inside. The sound of soft, generic music greeted me, as well as the clinking of plates and the hiss of the espresso machines.

The place was packed with people having an afternoon snack, and plenty of gig workers on their laptops. Some days I would bring my work to a café, but I tried not to make it a habit. My home office setup was much cozier, and there was no way I was doing consultations in a loud coffee shop.

When I didn’t see Delaney right away, I found a table near the door in front and sat down. I was too nervous to order anything yet, my stomach twisting and turning and tying itself into complicated knots.

She arrived only a minute after I sat down, wearing baggy jeans and one of her T-shirts that had a stack of books on it and said BOOKISH VIBES ONLY. When she got closer, I saw that there was a little frog sitting on top of one of the stacks of books. Cute.

As I took her in, I watched her look around and find me. Her eyes instantly narrowed. Not a great sign, but at least she was here. She hadn’t ghosted me. Her full lips pressed together as she crossed the short distance to stop in front of my table.

Her blonde hair was carelessly pulled back from her face in a messy ponytail and for a moment, she took my breath away. She wasstunning.

I inhaled a shaky breath and stood up.

“I’m going to order the most expensive thing they have,” she said by way of a greeting as she crossed her arms.

“Go ahead. Get whatever you want.” She could buy the whole damn pastry case if she wanted. Now that I was saving so much money on rent, I could afford it, even with the expense of my move.

Delaney’s eyes narrowed and she pivoted toward the counter. Since I was paying, I followed her, but not too closely. Didn’t want to invade her space.

“Yes, I’ll have one of each flavor of croissant, as well as the muffins. Oh, and an iced red velvet latte. The biggest size you make.”

She turned and looked at me over her shoulder, raising one eyebrow as if to say, “are you going to argue?”

The barista didn’t seem phased by the order and read it back to Delaney to make sure it was right.

“Is this together?” the barista asked, glancing at me.

“Yes,” I said, feeling my cheeks get hot. “I’ll have a small iced red velvet latte as well.” It sounded delicious.

Delaney huffed out a little noise when she heard my order but didn’t say anything as I paid with my card and added a nice tip for the barista. We moved over to the pickup counter where we were going to be waiting for a while.

“You didn’t want to order any of the cake pops?” I asked her, trying to get some kind of conversation going.

Delaney made a disgusted face. “Cake pops are just a scam to make you pay a lot of money for stale cake that should have been thrown away. They’re an atrocity and they should be banned as a dessert.”

Well. I hadn’t expected a treatise on cake pops, but I hadn’t really known what to expect from her these days.

“Good to know,” I responded, and she pressed her lips together, as if she hadn’t meant to say that much to me. She crossed her arms again and didn’t say anything as the staff packed up her order into a box and made our lattes.

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