Page 28 of Peaches

Fast doesn’t give you a chance to make any last memories that could carry you through the end result and leave you with even so much as a smile in their passing.

Fast isevil.

Athief.

That’s what fast is.

And as I finally feel myself break, as my heart crushes with the loss of my only source of sweetness in a bitter, rotten world, I crumble into a million pieces and swear I’m cursed with a life that’s just too damn unfair.

Life’s too short to not make it sweet!

My harsh cries become louder as her words echo through my mind. Choking back a sob, my throat burns as I look to the sky above and miss her already, so much I’m surprised my heart doesn’t give out and the good Lord take me with her.

“If I ever find anythingsweet,” I whisper. “Anything that brings mehappiness. I promise, Mom, I’ll hold on to it. Strong enough for the both of us, and never let go.”

* * *

18 years old

“What do you mean, a contract?” I cross my arms across my chest and feel fire ignite so damn deep in my veins, I swear I will never be able to put it out.

“It’s in your best interest,” I hear my grandfather say as I look past him at my old man and glare so damn sternly in his eyes, I swear I see a small break in the hard exterior that always seems to protect The General and it fuels me.

“That money was supposed to be mine when I turned eighteen,” I hiss, and then watch as my grandmother flinches slightly in her seat next to where my grandfather stands. “I don’t see how just one year, and my mother’s passing, has anything to do with changing that decision now.”

“The money is still yours, Brettly,” I hear my grandmother try to explain in a calm, collected, soothing in order to simmer my fire if you will, voice that almost does the trick.Almostbeing the key word. “Just, under different circumstances.”

“Enlighten me,” I demand.

“Well,” Grams says as she stands and folds her hands in front of her. “You can use as much as you like, on the allowance that has already been set forth. The remainder will be all yours, no allowance constrictions, come your thirtieth birthday.”

“If?” I sternly question, and then watch as she jolts slightly in response. “I hear an if in that proposal, Grams. You can’t fool me, you’re too pure. What’s the catch?”

She clears her throat and goes to speak, but my Pops beats her to it. It’s not lost on me that my old man has yet to open his mouth as he’s taken up residence as a shadow cowering behind his parents, watching as my new leash to life is presented to me.

“A proposal is a great segue, wouldn’t you agree, Marie,” I hear my grandfather say as my eyes leave my fathers and I glance back at my father and my grandmother.

“Everyone who has ever loved you, Brettly, just wants you to behappy,” my grandmother explains. “To find yoursweetspot in life. We think this is a great way to help you do just that.”

“For some reason, Grams, I don’t think I will share your enthusiasm.”

She lets out a huff, very uncharacteristic of her normal demeanor, and I attempt to hide my smile at the break in her otherwise perfect behavior.

“Marriage, Son!” My father finally announces, causing my eyes to flash to his and the fire in my body to be replaced with a slight panic.

My eyes widen as I look at him confused. “Marriage?” I echo, not quite sure I heard him right.

I mean shit, I’ve dated. Hell, even lost my virginity at fifteen. But to say I ever thought of myself as marriage material is a long shot. A long shot I’m not sure I’d ever be willing to take, given my disability.

Yeah, I know. That sounds like a cop out. Trust me, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think the same. But I’m a reader remember, I’ve studied, and one of my reasons is because I’ve read most marriages which include one ADHD partner and one “normal” partnerneverwork out.

My attention is fucked. My anger sometimes, okay most of the time, is misplaced when I can’t focus. One girlfriend called me selfish and rude. Another said she was “tired of walking on eggshells.” I tend to have anxiety about the stupidest shit in life. I can call it stupid, because hell, I see how everyone lives their lives. Fucking carefree! Never a second thought to thethoughtsthat plague my mind endlessly.

But marriage?

“Focus, Brettly!” I hear my father say, snapping me from my thoughts and forcing anger to rise again in my veins.

I was trying to fucking focus! But you just hit me with a curve ball I’d rather dodge than ever catch in my damn life.

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