Page 65 of Peaches

The cure, so they say, is reading. Though I’ve never really liked it much being in someone else's written world when I can’t make sense of my own. Plus, there’s the whole forgery red tape, too. Although I’d never stoop that low, even if I was desperately hanging on to the end of my last word.

Picking up my cup of hot peppermint tea, I blow on it slightly as I continue reading the book lighting up the screen on the Kindle in my hand when I roll my eyes, let out an irritated sigh, and suddenly can’t take it any longer.

This bitch!

What the hell kind of book did I think I was reading?

I pull the Kindle away from me slightly and turn it, as if the damn thing is a paperback, and wonder just why I decided to pick up this book to begin with.

Oh yeah! It came highly recommended! Saw it on many Facebook and Instagram posts. Only out - I swipe back to the beginning, not caring about losing my place, and check the publication date to make sure - a few weeks, I think. At least the publication date says this year. And it already has hundreds of mostly five-star reviews on Amazon.

Yeah! Five-star paid for reviews, I’m sure!

Yup! I said it! And what’s more, I totally meant it. We all think it. Don’t mind if I am the one to shit on that parade.

I shake my head and roll my eyes as I flip back to the spot I think I was at….

They meet.

They split.

They find each other again.

Some kissing.

Some fucking.

Some more kissing.

Some more fucking!

Mostly idiotic fucking, because, honestly, I don’t care who you are, you cannot tell me you call your man that and his dick stays hard while it’s inside of you.

Then we have the “she doesn’t know if she can.”

He says, “he can’t, he won’t!”

Shocker, am I right? Cue the roll of my eyes once again!

Okay… here we are… The fight.

Every book has one.

The moment when you witness just how big of ballsthis bitchhas, and just how much our horny,I love you I swear, but secretly all I really want to do is fuck you,“alpha” male wants to give her his own balls and turn in his man card.

I use the term alpha loosely because even though whoever wrote this crap thinks she’s writing a dominant, tough, loud, attention seeking hero, he’s more of a lame cup of… peppermint tea… than the whiskey or bourbon she’s always making him drink.

Andthis bitch…

I saythis bitchagain because holy hell…this bitch!

It’s always the girl, am I right?

I mean, some of the men in these books are stupid as fuck, too, don’t get me wrong. But this girl!Come on!

Oh, we can forgive the guys, because, let’s be honest, if they have a face like a God, a body that is chiseled to perfection, talk sinfully and perfectly dirty, and promise they’ll never fuck up again, we’ll probably forgive him by the end for whatever shit he stepped into along the way. And, if he’s packing a huge shaft, that doesn’t hurt either, am I right? Even if his shaft did get caught in some other woman’s vagina along the way.

Maybe, I squint my eyes and think about it as I set the Kindle down in my lap. Well, it depends. Possibly, for some of us. We might still hate him, but hell, we’ll admit he was hot as fuck and tell all our fellow smut reading buddies all about him. We’re that damn easy to please!

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