Page 60 of Good Half Gone

It seems that the cafeteria has gone silent in that moment. “How?” My voice is barely a whisper. He stares at his almost empty plate, his lips twitching.

“I don’t know,” he says. “But you’re probably going to kill him.”

I stay until 8:30 a.m., when the cafeteria closes for the morning, then send the stragglers to the common room for their daily activities. It’s hard to focus on anything other than what Vespa said about Jude. Could he be telling the truth? My mind keeps turning it over. There is the possibility that he’s lying—this is a hospital for the criminally insane,is it not? We are reminded of that everywhere we go: on signs, in our contracts, and by each other. Be aware, be alert. Would Vespa lie about something like that? I don’t think so—he killed his mother, but he’s always admitted to it. The fact that my sister’s murderer could be wandering around the hospital at night catapults electricity through my legs, into my chest and up my throat.

I’m almost back to the care station when I hear his voice. It’s embarrassing to admit that my whole body reacts to it. My thoughts about Vespa and Jude minimize to a whisper. Dr. Grayson is wearing his white coat, chatting with Jordyn and Crede near the foot of the stairs. Bouncer is there too, swallowing him up with her eyes. Dr. Grayson is polite to her, but I’ve never seen him show favoritism that might suggest they were something more. There does seem to be a familiarity between them—not lovers or friends, but something else.

I pretend to ignore them, going to the assignment whiteboard even though I know my name will not be on it. I go home today. The conversation that was happening between them has ended suddenly. Then he’s beside me, and we’re both looking at the whiteboard like we’re studying the value menu at McDonald’s.

“We don’t have much time,” he says softly. He’s less than a foot away. If I scooted an inch to the left, we’d be touching.

I shift my gaze to his face and give him a questioning look. Erased of seriousness, his face looks boyish…naughty. He holds back a smile, the heat of his eyes making me blush.

“If I stay in this spot for longer than twenty seconds, someone will see me and come over to talk.”

“Well, you better get moving, then…”

“But if you come with me, they’ll think I’m busy and leave me alone.”

I can smell his soap and his cologne, and somewhere behind both of those things—his skin. “So, I’ll be doing you a favor?”

“Absolutely. Huge favor…” His eyebrows lift to his hairline. I can’t help but laugh.

“Want to take a walk?” he asks. There’s enough shock on my face to make him laugh this time. “What?” he pretends to be offended. “You don’t think I walk?”

I bite my bottom lip to keep from smiling.

He is better at flirting than I am. When he’s around, I forget why I’m really here.Piper, I remind myself.Jude. My priority is getting into D hall, and I am becoming painfully aware of the cost of his attention. Everyone is looking at him and thus at me. Sneaking around got harder if people were aware of your presence.

“I can’t,” I say. “I’d love to, but—” I make eyes at Janiss, who is watching us from the care station.

“You can tell me the truth,” he says, dipping his head. “Is she scarier than I am?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“That’s what I thought.” He pauses before becoming serious. “The very last thing I want is to get you in trouble with the nurses. If that happens, you might as well just go ahead and quit.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“I’ll tell you what.” He glances at his watch. “There’s an hour and a half before everyone heads home. Meet me in the greenhouse in ten. Wear a jacket, it’s chilly outside.”

“The greenhouse?”

He dips his head, speaking in a low voice. “If you go out the back door in the patient cafeteria, there’s a hill. Crest it and follow the gravel path. You can’t miss it.”

“Doctor…” A female patient wanders over to us, her hands outstretched like she’s greeting her savior. She’s barefoot, which isn’t allowed. “I prayed for you when you had black eyes.”

“Is that so, Fern? Who did you pray to…”

Their voices drift off as he steers her toward the care station.I feelthe mush, as Piper would say: crush adrenaline. I wait for the feeling to go with him, but it doesn’t.

“Iris, you have a boat to catch, don’t you?”

I jump. Behind me, standing in the open security door, is Jordyn. She’s staring after Dr. Grayson, a weird look on her face.

“Yep…” I obey without thinking.

She lets the door close behind her and steps sideways, positioning herself to watch me scan my card. I can feel her hovering; her wasplike energy is making me nervous. I try not to react, but the urge to run screaming is tempting. I can’t summon the confidence to look at her, so I stare at the camera to the right of the door, wondering if George is watching this all go down; I would.

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