Page 62 of Good Half Gone

I clench my teeth so hard my jaw hurts.

“It felt dishonest not to mention it. I’m sorry about what happened to your sister.”

“We don’t know what happened to my sister,” I say truthfully. “We’re still trying to figure that out…”

I’m the wax version of myself: stiff, slick, and robotic.

“Do you think she’s alive?” His voice is the opposite of mine, so warm it could melt chocolate.

“No.”

“No?”

I register his surprise, then turn away to hide my tears. Touch pulls me back into my body. I feel hot fingertips on my wrist. He rubs circles with his thumb where the softest skin is. My love language is touch. I thought that’s the way it was for all twins until Piper told me she hated being touched. I stare at a row of empty terra-cotta planters, lulled by Leo Grayson’s fingertips. The rain outside sounds like traffic if you listen just right.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He regards me plaintively before letting go of my wrist. My hand drops to my side, tingling where he touched me. Outside of the greenhouse, everything is fluorescent green—Hulk green, Cal would say. I slip my hands into my pockets.

“I’m not upset,” I say automatically. My thoughts meander off course, distracting me enough to trip on my own feet. Leo’s reflexes are fast; he reaches for me, but I catch myself.

“Tell me about Piper.”

Hearing Piper’s name coming from Leo Grayson’s mouth trips me up in a different way. I break eye contact to think of her. Rain falls harder, but we don’t speed up. Somewhere nearby the softplink plink plinkof water dripping on metal.

“That’s the shrink in you talking.”

He laughs, flashing straight teeth. “No, it’s the human in me talking. But good job changing the subject.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

We follow the path to the end of the greenhouse and step out into the rain. Our clothes soak up the wet like plants. The smell of the sea air mingling with the rich dirt reminds me of Gran and Piper. I give Leo a heavily censored version of my life, pulling strands of my hair from my mouth as the wind picks up. We’ve walked all the way to the woods. I stop short of the tree line. Leo listens attentively, watching the ground as he walks. When I’m done, I feel exhausted. It doesn’t matter how I’m telling it or what I’m leaving out. Slicing yourself open for the purpose of examination keeps your heart in a perpetual state of trauma.

“So that’s it?” he says when I’m done. “They put her on the ferry, and she—what? Disappears into thin air?” He looks upset by this, which touches me. I am upset every day, every minute, every second of my life. Piper and I sliced apart by human wickedness.

“Pretty much.” I take a steadying breath. I am alone. My sister left me alone to raise her boy. I miss her. I hate her. More than anything, I love her.

I have the sudden longing to be with Gran and Cal, the people I have left.What am I doing here anyway? I turn away from him to hide my face, homesick and embarrassed.

“Iris…”

It startles me when he says my name. He says it with the intensity of a man proposing marriage.

“Dr. Grayson…”

He winces. “Leo. I don’t like the way it sounds when you say my name like that.”

All of a sudden, I’m laughing. “Like what?”

“Like I’m your boss.”

“You are my boss… Leo.”

I’m rewarded with a genuine smile. We’re only a foot apart again, and I can’t remember how that happened. We keep drifting toward each other. I feel like a dumb kid with a crush. There’s nowhere to look but at him, so I do.

And then he kisses me, and it’s the softest, nicest kiss I’ve ever had. When he pulls away, he’s looking me right in the eyes.

“I know why you’re really here.”

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