Page 21 of Good Half Gone

It Was Early Morning—twenty-four hours since Piper was taken; ten hours since Gran collapsed. For three tense hours I’d sat in the waiting room, dreading the moment the doctor would come out and tell me she was dead. But when tiny Dr. Orly came to collect me from the waiting room, it was to tell me that Gran suffered a minor heart attack when she collapsed, and fortunately, the medics arrived in time to stabilize her. She was also dangerously dehydrated, he told me, and had forgotten to take her medicine. He had the type of face that stayed the same no matter how dire or joyful the news; only when he was finished speaking was I able to conclude there was no bad news tacked on to the end of his speech. She was going to be okay.

“She’s awake and asking to see you.”

I couldn’t speak I was so relieved. I followed Dr. Orly through hallways, doors, and unapologetically bright lighting that hurt my eyes. And then we were atherdoor, and he was giving me that look like, brace yourself—which I did, but nothing can really prepare you for seeing the strongest person you know looking like they’d had a near-losing fight with death.

She was not sitting up like people are in the movies; she was lying on her back, and the lump her body made under the covers was childlike. I was frightened as I tiptoed my way over to the side of the bed. She opened her eyes as soon as I was beside her like she could sense my presence, and she smiled.

I was so shocked I couldn’t smile back. I gawked at her bare, pale face and frowned instead.

“Sorry I scared you…” Her voice was hoarse. Piper would have known what to say in that moment, but I didn’t. I never wished for my sister’s presence so hard. Where was she? How could she do this to us—to me? My words tangled on my tongue. I nodded tearfully and held her hand. She didn’t look this tiny when she was standing, she filled a room with her energy. Her eyes fluttered open and closed as she tried to stay awake.

“Go to sleep, Gran,” I said firmly. Her eyes closed and didn’t open again. It was like she was waiting for permission. She couldn’t even allow herself rest in the hospital.

It made me so sad for her, and I was sniffling next to her bed when Dr. Orly cleared his throat.Uh-oh…here it comes…

“We’re going to keep her overnight to monitor her. Do you have someone to call who can pick you up?”

“Yes.” The lie came easily; Piper and I were used to lying about that sort of thing. “My mom,” I said, when he kept staring. That seemed to appease him, but he still looked off about something. His face twitched; it was just for a few seconds, but it scared me.

“I have Tourette’s,” he explained. “Do you know what that is?”

I did and I said so.

“Your grandmother mentioned something about your sister being missing…”

It was a sucker punch. I had to close my eyes and reset: Piper is missing—you need to find her.Gran is in the hospital—you need to make sure she doesn’t fight the doctors on the treatment she needs.

“Yeah,” I said, not meeting his eyes. “The police say she’s a runaway. They’ve put out a…poster.” The word was dry and stale in my mouth.

The doctor cleared his throat. “A poster?”

“A bulletin,” I corrected myself. “We spoke to a detective…he put out a missing person bulletin.” I was so tired I was seeing double. My tongue felt clumsy and thick as I grappled with the situation I was in—I was a minor with an incapacitated guardian and a missing sister.

“Do you live with your grandmother?”

Dr. Orly was nice, but if I didn’t choose my words carefully, I’d be spending the next few nights in a foster situation. He was busy—busy adults liked to remove the problem as quickly as possible.Focus and do what needs to be done.Those were our words—mine and Piper’s.

“Yes, but my mother lives close. I’ll call her now.” I patted my pockets until I remembered my phone was stolen. A wave of panic before I nonchalantly moved to the room phone and picked it up, miming dialing. It seemed to work, because out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dr. Orly nod and clasp his hands at his waist. He wanted this part to be over so he could go on his way and not think about me again. No one wants to be in charge of the smelly, sad teenager. The game was hot potato, and we were it—that is, until we were cooked out of the system. Timer went off at eighteen.

I made eye contact with him and said into the dead receiver, “Hi, Mom, can you pick me up now? Yeah, I’ll tell you everything when you get here. Awesome, thanks, I’ll see you soon.” I gave him a thumbs-up like I had it all worked out.

“I’ll send one of the nurses in to walk you down.” He hesitated once more in the doorway, but finally seemed to decide I was old enough to be left on my own.As soon as the door closed, I slammed the phone on the cradle and kissed Gran on the cheek. “I’ll be back,” I whispered next to her ear. She smelled like Gran—like home.

I was out of the door and down the hall before anyone saw me. The dinner tray lady glanced my way but didn’t seem to notice me or care. I snatched an apple from the cart and ducked around a corner. It was five past five, and the sun had yet to warm the sky. I passed a sleepy-looking guy sitting at the check-in desk, and then the doors sighed as they expelled me into the dark morning.

There was a McDonald’s half a mile down the street going left. To the right: a gas station with panels broken out of the sign. I stood under the awning as rain flecked past, trying to decide what to do when someone from inside the hospital yelled out, “Excuse me, miss! Hey!”

I flipped up my hoodie and booked it, my Converses getting soaked when I failed to navigate around the puddles. I ran farther and farther away from Gran. It felt like I was betraying her. I stopped when I was sure no one was following, bending over at the waist to catch my breath. The apartment was in a decent neighborhood, but I’d have to walk through a couple of sketchy areas to get there.

The McDonald’s crowd looked dour this early in the morning. A young employee with a broom and dustpan made eye contact with me and quickly looked away. We both hated today for different reasons. In an attempt to get warm, I sat at a table near the bathroom, pulling my knees up to my chest and watching a mom trying to feed hotcakes to her pissed off little kid. I was hungry. I didn’t have money for the bus.

I could see the morning traffic through the windows, cars lining up to get on the freeway like slow-crawling beetles. The sky was dark, and the rain was astonishingly cold when I stepped back outside. First things first—I had to call Audrain and Poley.Twenty-four hours—she’d been missing long enough that they had to pay attention. But my phone was gone. It would have to wait until I got home.

My hands were so cold I could barely turn the key in the lock. It didn’t feel good to be home; without Gran and Piper, the tiny rooms felt like an empty movie set—meaningless and cold. I stood on the four beige tiles that Gran jokingly called the entrance hall. If I took a step I’d be on the worn gray carpet.

My clothes were heavy and damp with rain and sweat. I peeled them off as I ran for the bathroom and stood naked on the yellow bathmat, stomping my feet while I waited for the water to get hot. A week ago, Piper had insisted on painting my toenails a neon-green color; it had looked ridiculous against my too-creamy skin, like a fungus. My big toe was chipped on one corner, and the polish on my baby toes had rubbed off entirely, but now as I envisioned her blond head bent over my foot, her face serious as she concentrated, a sob escaped my throat.

After my shower, I stopped in the doorway of our bedroom. Facing me were two twin beds on the same wall, separated by a tall dresser. My side was bare: gray comforter, white lamp, no posters or photographs to remind me of who and what I cared about. Hers was overflowing with personality: polka-dot comforter, daisy sheets, pink-and-green pillows on her bed—she even had one of those frilly skirts at the bottom that hid the crap she kept underneath.

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