Page 11 of A Cowboy's Convenient Marriage

He didn’t typically drink coffee this late at night, but she didn’t wait for his reply. She turned the corner and started leading him away.

He figured he could take a couple sips and it wouldn’t hurt him. But nothing about this was feeling right.

Am I just afraid? Or is this really not the right way to go?

He felt like he should have asked the Lord a little bit more before he ran ahead. As a pastor, he’d learned to stop and check with God before he did anything, and he meant anything. But after God had allowed everything to fall apart, he had more trouble trusting God.

He wanted to be one of those people who trusted God no matter what. Whatever happened, good, bad, or very bad, he just would believe that God would work it out for his good.

And intellectually, he still did believe that. But practically, he was just waiting for the next sucker punch, knowing that God would allow it. He didn’t want to think of God in that way, because that wasn’t the kind of God he served. A God who was just waiting to sucker punch him. But he supposed he allowed himself to wallow in anger and bitterness too long for him to simply pull himself out and trust that God would be good.

He knew people who weren’t Christians who assumed the universe was going to give them all the good things. If they could assume that about the universe, surely he could assume that about his God?

“So your aunt told me that you have a proposition for me,” Kendra said as she pointed to a chair at the table. “You can sit down there.”

“I can give you a hand making coffee,” he said. He didn’t want to just sit while she worked to serve him. That wasn’t the kind of person he was.

“No. You’re just fine. I am in control of my kitchen, and I don’t like other people touching things.”

He nodded, pulling out a chair and sitting down. He kind of liked to putter around the kitchen, and helping made him feel good. But maybe if she didn’t like people in the kitchen, he could help her clean.

He shook his head. They weren’t even talking about marriage, but...his mind went there. If he was going to propose to her this very night, he’d already identified several places where they might not be compatible.

He always thought that two people could make a marriage work no matter what. It was just a matter of one of them being willing to give up their way and go along with the other one. Sometimes in some marriages there was a spouse who had to be the one who always gave up in order to get along. He’d seen those marriages work, and he’d seen both spouses be very happy in them. It was a matter of choosing to be happy despite a person’s circumstances. It was possible, because he’d seen it.

But he always advised anyone who wasn’t married to be very cautious, because it took a lot of Christian growth, a lot of dependence on the Lord, a lot of sanctification going on inside of a person in order for them to be happy in such a circumstance.

Those were the kinds of spiritual giants he wasn’t sure he would ever compare to.

“You’re right. I’m here because I have something to offer you.”

Did he want to do this? The words felt wrong.

“Oh?” she asked, setting the mug of coffee she just made for him on the table. “Here’s the sugar,” she said as she set the canister down beside him. “And I’ll grab some milk. I’m interested in your offer.” She laughed a little. “I’ve been trying to figure what it could possibly be, and I really have no idea.”

“Maybe I started at the wrong place. You said you had three children?”

“Yes. And I have a lady who comes to help me. She barely had time to get here before you did, so that’s why there was a little bit of chaos behind the door, in case you heard it.”

“I did. But children can be loud. It didn’t exactly shock me.”

“Oh my goodness. You’re not kidding that those things can be loud. The oldest is in first grade, and I cannot wait until the others can go to school. It is absolute exhaustion just trying to keep up with the two of them all day long.”

“I’m sure that’s very hard.”

He heard lots of parents say things like that, and he wondered if he would be that type of parent. He didn’t want to be in a big rush to send his kids off to be away from him all day. He wanted to love and enjoy them. Was it possible to do that with small children?

There was a huge part of him that said it was, because he’d seen parents who did love to be around their children, even parents who homeschooled them and had them there with them twenty-four hours a day, every day of the week. There was no respite, but they didn’t seem to need one.

“Hang on a second. I promised the lady who is helping me that I would grab some snacks for her. She’s gonna run down here and get them. And then I’ll be able to sit and talk with you.”

She must have texted her help on her phone, because she’d barely said that when footsteps sounded on the stairs.

A slim woman, with her hair in a high ponytail and her eyes bright, her cheeks rosy, her walk energetic and businesslike, strode into the kitchen.

“Here’s them snacks I promised,” Kendra said, handing a grocery bag full of things to the woman.

Cash couldn’t help it. He stared at her, thinking she was much more like the type of woman that he would have wanted to marry. She seemed like she was naturally cheerful, and while she wasn’t dressed in expensive clothes, as far as he could tell, she had a way about her that was classy and elegant without being ostentatious or off-putting.

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