Page 11 of Fearful Mate

Chapter Five

Thomas

I don’t return to my Alpha’s home.Shame keeps me locked in my own house.Calum has never been anything but good to me and I attacked him.If it had not been for Lola, I would have killed him.My wolf is insane, and I can’t remain here in the compound putting this community at risk.There are children here for heaven’s sake.

What if I hurt Joy?Or one of the others?I die a little inside just thinking of it.It may be time for me to make peace with the fact that I don’t belong here.

A knock sounds on the kitchen door, and I glare at it.I’m not in the right state of mind to talk to anyone.A second knock a few moments later has me rising from my seat to make them leave.It’s probably just Rose, coming to check in like she always does.

Opening the door, the words die on my lips as I take in my mate.The sun hits her hair making it shine.Her grey eyes are weary as she takes me in.

“I brought you some food,” she says nervously.“You never came back.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Because of Calum?”she asks.“Or because of me?”She looks nervous as the words slip softly from between her lips.

“Why would I avoid you?”I ask with a frown.

“Could we have this conversation inside?”She holds up the plate.“We have a lot to discuss.”

Moving out of the way, I allow her into my personal space.Her strawberries and cream scent permeates the air and I sniff her hair as she walks past me.Her gaze connects with mine and I feel my face flush with embarrassment.

“Sorry,” I mumble closing the door before going to stand behind the counter.I need to keep the dark wooden structure between us as some semblance of the boundaries I don’t have when it comes to this woman.And I want to hide my enormous, inappropriate erection.

“Here,” she says removing the cling film and pushing the plate toward me.“I made you a plate.”

The smells are divine, but I can’t focus on food right now.My cock is harder than lead as I stare at the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.All I want to do is lick and kiss every inch of her while whispering words of praise.It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, standing here and not going to her.

“I’ll eat later,” I reply, pushing the plate aside.

Lola frowns but doesn’t say anything.For long moments we stare at one another before she finally breaks the silence.

“We need to talk, Thomas.”

I know what is coming and even though it is going to kill me, I know getting it over with will allow us both to move on with our lives.

“We don’t need to have the talk,” I say not waiting to give her a chance.“If you’re going to refuse me as your mate, just do it.”

The words sound harsh and leave a bitter taste in my mouth while my wolf is whimpering inside me as the last part of my soul is shattered.But I won’t force her into anything.She is far too precious to have anyone hurt her in any way.

“Excuse me?”she asks, confusion coating her words.

I can’t quite decipher the look on her face but I’m not too good at that.My social skills are very much lacking, never having been socialized while living in the Hunter prison.But I do know something is wrong.

“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”I ask.

She shakes her head.“No.And that’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

“Shit,” I mumble, scrubbing my hand down my face.“I’m no good at this stuff.”I try to explain myself, but I seem to be failing miserably.“My socialization skills are basically nonexistent.”

---