Page 2 of Fearful Mate

Chapter One

Thomas

I sit staring out the darkened forest, listening for any sounds that don’t belong.My heightened hearing and sight make me the perfect scout for the perimeter wall.Don’t get me wrong, everyone living in the Katu compound is a shifter and has heightened senses, but mine are even more so.

My entire life, I was held in captivity and experimented on.As a result of their gene manipulation or whatever else those sick monsters did to me, I am more than the average wolf shifter.My body is bigger, my senses are even more heightened than anyone I have ever met, and my wolf is more temperamental.

I watch Peyton and Caine enter the compound after they went for their nightly swim down at the waterfall.I rub the center of my chest to alleviate the pain that blooms there.I will never have what they have, what any of the other fated couples in our pack has.I would be a danger to any female, let alone my fated mate.My size, the volatility of my wolf, all of those things, would be too much for any woman to handle.

“What are you thinking about?”Godrick asks from his spot beside me.

“Nothing,” I mumble.

“I can hear the wheels in your brain turning,” he counters.“Talk to me.”

I’m not sure how to explain what I am feeling but I do know I want to open up to Godrick.Of all the men in the pack I have become closest to him.In the year I have lived here, I haven’t really forged a bond with anyone else the way I have with Godrick.Men have always scared me after the way I grew up, but I enjoy his companionship and want to be friends with him in every sense of the word.

“I was thinking about fated mates,” I say after a long silence.

“I’m sure the Goddess has a mate picked out just for you,” he says with a smile.

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”

“Meaning?”A frown mars his features making him look more intimidating than he actually is.

“How can I ever have a fated mate?”I ask, genuinely wanting to know his thoughts on the matter.“When a shifter finds his fated mate, he is even more volatile than usual.How the hell will that work with my wolf?You know my beast is unpredictable.”

“I know what you mean, Thomas,” he says, nodding his head.“And I am sure that whoever the Goddess chooses for you will be able to navigate all those issues with you.To be honest, I don’t know a fated couple that didn’t have to conquer some or other problem, real or of their own making, before they could claim their happily ever after.However corny that may sound.”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Peyton had to go through a rejection to find Caine, Calum’s mate was forced to mate with someone else before we found each other, and Keela’s first mate died.The list goes on and on.”

Shock courses through me at what he has just revealed.“I had no idea.”

He nods with a small smile.“It seems people tend to only talk about the good times.It’s easier than having to relive the tough times.”

“Makes sense.”

“Does that help you?”

“Not really,” I say honestly.“I’m not sure there is a way to overcome my issues.What if my wolf hurt my mate?That would kill me.”

For long moments both of us remain silent, thinking through everything that has been said between us.

“I’ll tell you what Peyton told me,” he says, cutting through the silence.“The goddess will not choose a fated mate for you if there is no feasible way for you to be together.Remember that when you meet her.”

I don’t say anything else.Unless you live with the constant fear I do, have been through what I have lived my entire life, I don’t think anyone will ever understand.

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