So, despite everything I want, I do what I have always done, and do what is right. Ignoring his plea, I say regretfully, “Come on. Let’s go.”
The two of us walk through the woods in silence on our way back to his house. The sounds of the upbeat party music are a stark contrast to how both of us are feeling. And once we reach his back yard I stop on the property line. He takes a couple steps before he realizes I’m no longer next to him. And when he turns around to look at me, I can tell he knows what I’m about to say before the words even leave my mouth. But I have to say it anyway. We both need to hear it.
So, I say the words that I’ve uttered way too often, “We can’t do this Jax.”
Nowhere To Go - Bad Omens
CHAPTER12
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER PRACTICE
JACKSON
“Hey,” I say to Clay as the two of us walk down the hall from the locker room to the practice gym. “Did you hear about Sanders?”
Aaron Sanders was another senior on the team and Rocky Campos’ doubles partner. Talk to the guy for five minutes, and he’s exactly what you’d expect. A cocky rich kid who has absolutely no respect for anyone or anything besides himself. He’s an asshole to everyone he meets and has gotten this far in life on his name alone.
Turns out, he’s a fucking creep too. Over the weekend he was charged with sexual assault and placed in jail. Rumor has it he drugged and raped some innocent girl at a party. Not that he cares, because I’m sure he spent all of five minutes in jail before his parents bailed him out.
However, the dean of the school and Coach Tayor have officially kicked him off the team, which means Rocky is left without a doubles partner during his senior year.
Despite Rocky being the most standoffish person on the team, he’s a truly exceptional player and has the potential to go far in sand volleyball.
?*I feel for the guy, I really do.
“Yeah. Not surprised. Guy is a grade-A fucking asshole.”
Once we enter the gym, I spot Rocky already starting his stretches. He’s a bit of a lone wolf. “Sucks for Campos, though.”
Clay takes a swig of his water before setting the bottle on the bench. “Yeah. I couldn’t even imagine losing my partner senior year.”
“Yeah, me either.”
“Come on.” Clay grabs a volleyball and tosses it to me. “Let’s go warm up.”
As the two of us walk onto the court, I do a fast scan for Theo.
Nothing.
Not that it’s any different from how he’s been the last two months.
I thought that once the season began and we started practice it would be better. But it hasn’t.
Except for the first practice, when he came in to introduce himself and I almost felt my heart fall out of my ass, he has made himself scarce. Only interacting with players from our team in the physical therapy rooms or in the weight room. Besides the first day he hasn’t made a single appearance in the gym or out on the sand. And every time I see him in passing he won’t dare to make eye contact with me.
And I can’t confront him because I’m always surrounded by teammates when I see him, and as desperate as I am, I wouldn’t put him in that situation.
But I’ve barely seen him at all since Halloween. He’s avoided me in every way possible, and it’s really starting to piss me off. Unless I make the effort to follow him in the shadows, it would be like he dropped off the face of the planet.
And when I went back to Montana for the holidays I wasn’t able to feed my obsession at all. I felt like I was going out of my mind at the absence of him being near. I know my family could tell. And when my dad asked me what was going on, I didn’t have a way to explain that I was obsessed with my thirty-year-old neighbor who is my physical trainer, so I just put on a smile and said nothing.
Because that’s apparently all this is to him. Nothing.
He got me addicted to him, and he pulled away.
Again.
It’s our first practice back after break, and I’m feeling desperate. Desperate to hear him say my name. Desperate to touch him, even if it’s just the brush of a shoulder.Desperateto simply see him.