Page 26 of Side Out

I finally pull my shit together and ask, “What do you want me to say?!”

“Anything! Anything besides the same goddamn excuses that you always give me.”

We’re bound to be drawing attention at this rate, but I just keep going. “I don’t know what you want from me, Jackson!”

He’s so pissed I can see the tears lining his eyes. And I don’t blame him in the slightest. I’m a fucking mess and dragging along this poor boy for my pleasure was never the right thing to do.

He pushes my shoulders slightly, and I move away from him, giving him some more space. He whispers, “I’m leaving before those stupid fucking words come out of your mouth again. Have the day you deserve, Mr. Young.”

I deserve to spend the day in hell.

And this very well could be my hell.

Having a man I’ve quickly fallen for within reach but not being able to claim him as mine, has to be some kind of purgatory.

Isn’t it?

My Fault - Shaboozey, Noah Cyrus

CHAPTER16

B&E, BOOKS, AND BLOWIES

JACKSON

It’s just after four o’clock, and I’m sitting in my car in the back corner of the sports complex parking lot.

After my afternoon classes I came right back here. Not that going to those classes was even worth it because I couldn’t focus on a single fucking thing the professors were saying after my fight with Theo this morning.

After I stormed out it took me all of five minutes to decide what I wanted to do.

Because despite how monumentally pissed off I am at him, I can’t quit.

He’s like the worst kind of drug. I know he’s killing me from the inside out, but I can’t wait until my next hit. And the next. And the next.

?*I always want more of him.

Which is why watching him on the cameras throughout the sports complex is no longer enough. And why the moment I see him walk in the direction of the track for their practice I exit my car and head toward the doors I go in for my appointments.

Walking as fast as my leg will allow, I make my way down the now all-to-familiar hallway, but this time I don’t go into Chris’ door. Turning to the right, I reach for Theo’s door handle to thankfully find it open.

I pull out a small waterproof camera from my backpack and nestle it in the snake plant on the bookshelf across from his desk.

Pulling out my phone, I ensure the camera’s view isn’t obstructed and the image is loading properly before I throw my backpack over my shoulders and sneak back out the door.

And once I’m back in my car, I open my laptop, clear the last ten minutes from the sport’s complex’s security cameras, and wait for him to return from his rounds at track and field practice.

And when he does I don’t even bother driving home. Because my eyes are glued to him. My drug.

My addiction.

My ever waking desire.

But, my concentration breaks when my phone starts dinging repeatedly in my pocket, and I remember I was supposed to meet Clay and Rocky at the library to study.

Which, I can’t really say I’m overly excited for, because for one… I don’t need to study. I’m a genius. And two… despite their best efforts, it’s abundantly clear to anyone with eyeballs that the two of them have a thing. And considering my current lovesick condition, being around a couple isn’t exactly on my to do list.

But I know if I don’t they won’t let it be.

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