Page 27 of Side Out

Clay already knows something is going on with me.

He’s my best friend. He knows when I’m not okay. And I think it’s safe to say I am well beyondokay.

I let myself watch Theo for a few more minutes before pocketing my phone and heading toward the library.

* * *

Throwing my bag onto the table, I take an empty seat next to my best friend and smile sarcastically at Rocky who’s sitting across from Clay. “Never thought I would see you using the group chat,Rockwell.”

Rocky narrows his eyes. “I use it all the time now, Jackson, don’t start your shit with me.” Despite our razzing one another, I don’t have an issue with Rocky. He seems like a genuinely good guy, and despite their rough start, he’s been a great partner for Clay. I just hope that whatever is going on between the two of them doesn’t end in disaster. Because Clay deserves the world, and I’ll be damned if I allow anyone to treat him as if he doesn’t.

Rocky cocks his head. “And don’t change the subject. Why the hell were you so late?”

Regardless of how upset I am at him, a smile lines my lips at the thought of my camera being in his office. “Unlike you two… I don’t need to study. I had to install some new programs on my computer, and I got caught up watching…”

Shut. Up. Jackson.

But it’s too late. Clay’s attention has peaked. “Watching what, Jax?”

Shit.

“No one. It’s none of your business.”

Oh, real smooth Jackson. Since when have you ever hid a single thing from Clay?

But Rocky chimes in before Clay has a chance to. “Oh, so it’s a person?”

Fucking fuck.

I can feel Clay boring a hole in the side of my head, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. Because I know that as soon as I do, I’ll come clean about everything.

And I can’t. Not yet. Mostly because I’m honestly a little embarrassed about how I’ve been acting about this entire situation. But also because, if Clay knew what was going on I have no doubt that, despite his golden retriever demeanor, he would march right over to Theo’s house and deck him square in his perfectly chiseled jaw.

So, I say nothing. I say nothing and just let him stare at me until I hear him sigh in frustration before hastily standing from his chair. “I’m going to find the book that I need for my marketing class.”

Great. Now he’s pissed at me too.

“Jax.” The concern on Rocky’s face is evident. I’m important to Clay, which means I’m important to Rocky now too. If the people Clay loves are hurting, Rocky wants to fix it. That’s the type of guy he is. He stands up for the people in his corner. “Seriously, are you okay? Are you in some kind of trouble?” He leans forward on the table. “I can help.”

I don’t doubt that he would if he could. But unfortunately… this isn’t anything anyone can help me with. No matter how much I want it sometimes. “I’m fine, Rocky. I promise.”Lies. “I just have some shit going on. But nothing I can’t keep an eye on.”

He can tell I’m full of shit, but he doesn’t push any further. Nodding, he stands from the table. “I’m going to help Clay find the book he needs,” he says with a wink.

I playfully roll my eyes. “Ugh, fine. Just make sure I don’t have to hear it.”

Rocky laughs before heading toward the bookshelves Clay disappeared between.

Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I pull up the feed from Theo’s office, eager to see him. But I’m disappointed to find he’s gone, and his office is dark.

Briefly, I play with the idea of throwing my shit in my bag and heading home in hopes of catching him through his window, but then I remember that he hasn’t so much as opened his curtains an inch in over a month and a half.

So, I pocket my phone and study. I study until I spot Rocky and Clay walking back toward the table, hand in hand.

And would you look at that, not a fucking book to be found. “Didn’t find the book you needed, I see?”

Clay sits down next to me and puffs out his chest. “Nah, got a little distracted.”

See, this is exactly what I was talking about. Just a reminder of what I so desperately want but Theo won’t let me have. “You guys fucking suck.”

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