Page 31 of Side Out

When I finally manage to peel my body off of the floor and get the room to stop spinning, my eyes land on my open computer, which I’m almost positive I had closed before I went to the game yesterday.

Slowly, as to ensure I don’t ralph all over everything, I sit down at my desk chair and turn on the screen, and I swear to fucking god I almost die in the middle of my room when a live feed of Theo making breakfast in his kitchen fills my screen.

Holy fucking shit.

Turning around quickly, I grab the big bowl off the floor and spill my guts right into it.

So much for not throwing up.

I broke into Theo’s house when he was sleeping.

I put cameras in Theo’s house.

I DRANK AND STALKED.

Immediate panic sets in as I spiral about how the fuck I’m going to get those out of his house, but I suddenly realize…

They’re already in there. What’s the harm in leaving them there?

Because he’s driving you insane you fucking idiot.

But I’m about to be back in Montana for the entire summer, and even though the thought of seeing him in that house withhermakes me want to hurl this bowl at his front fucking door, I will admit it’s better than the thought of not seeing him at all.

So right then and there, I decide. What’s the harm in letting sleeping dogs lie?

Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd

CHAPTER19

MONTANA.

THEODORE

It’s officially summer. Graduation was just a couple of days ago, and all of the sports teams are officially done with their seasons. Even though I’m employed by the school, my job doesn’t require me to be on campus during summer break unless specifically requested. And Bridget just so happens to be gone on business again so I’ve been enjoying some much neededmetime.

To say it’s been peaceful is an understatement.

?*But it doesn’t take my mind off ofhim…

I need to find a way to explain to him my situation with Bridget, but in that same breath, what would I even say?

“I’ve known her since we were kids. Our parents made us get together, and I’m too much of a people pleaser to say no and stand up for myself or for anything that I want.”

No, that’s embarrassing. And what’s more is Jax still won’t give a shit. Because that does nothing to explain the fact that I didn’t tell him about Bridget and led him on for over a year.

For what?

Sometimes I still don’t understand why myself.

Why, so I could sit in my dream house and work my dream job and have no one to celebrate with? Bridget certainly doesn’t care. The only thing my parents want is for me to quit and run their fucking vineyard. And I won’tletJackson care.

But despite how hard I pushed him away, he did care. He cared about me, despite hardly even knowing me. Despite me acting like a grade-A asshole. Despite me pushing him away at every turn.

And the worst thing is… I know if I would have let him in he would have been my biggest cheerleader.

He could have been the person I celebrated with, and the worst part is, he would have wanted to. It wouldn’t have been fake or forced. He wouldn’t have been by my side out of obligation. No, he would have been there because there’s no place he would have rather been.

Because that’s just who Jackson Baker is.

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