Page 35 of Side Out

She rolls her eyes dramatically, but she knows I’m not wrong. It may sound cocky, but I’m the smartest person I know.

And I don’t even mean to be a douche when I say that.

It’s just facts.

Mom’s face softens, and she reaches up and brushes a strand of hair from my forehead. We all have the same hair color as Dad; she’s always loved playing with it. Our eyes though, they’re all hers. “You look good, Baby.”

“I feel good, Mom.”

Her eyes search mine for a moment before she says, “You didn’t when you got here.”

I knew she noticed. Dad did too. There’s no use in denying it. “I know.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

I think about it for a moment. I think about how good it would feel to tell her everything, and for her to tell me everything is going to be okay and wrap me up in her arms. But, I know it would only upset her. And for the first time in months… Iknoweverything is going to be okay. I feel good. I feel like myself. And it’s because of this place. Because of them. My family. So, I just smile and shake my head. “No. I’m okay, Mom. Really. I promise.”

She studies my face for a second, trying to decipher if I’m telling the truth or not. Taking me for my word she places her palm on my face and strokes the pad of her thumb along my cheekbone. “Alright, Baby.” Leaning forward, she kisses my forehead softly.

Suddenly, tears sting at my eyes, and I have to close them for a split second. Because I realize that, while I may not have the love of a romantic partner, I do have a deep and profound love. It’s in them. In my mom, my dad, and even my brothers. Nothing could ever compare to the love I have for them. It’s a love not all families have. Hell, I’ve seen a family firsthand that doesn’t have an ounce of what we have, and it has tormented my best friend for most of his life. So, while I may crave the love of a partner, I know thatthiswillalwaysbe here waiting for me.

Mom looks at me a moment longer before clapping her hands together. “Alright, let’s get the rest of this packed up.”

“I’d be done by now if you’d stop refolding everything.”

“Don’t you start,” she says with a wink, and we both go about packing up my things.

Half an hour later, all of my clothes, and hopes for next year, are packed into my bags and loaded into Dad’s truck.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner, Baby?” We hear a shout followed by what sounds like a herd of elephants coming down the stairs. Mom turns around, and I look over her head to find the twins sprinting for the front door.

“Mom!” Bryson shouts. “Tell Grayson he can’t go out with Jessie!”

“It’s not my fault she asked me out first. Maybe next time you’ll grow some balls and?—”

“Boys!” Mom claps her hands at them.

“Who is Jessie?” I ask only loud enough for Mom to hear.

She sighs in exhaustion. “A girl in the class above them.”

“Oooo, upperclassman. Nice.”

I high-five both of them over Mom’s head, and she backhands me in the stomach. “Don’t encourage them. Are you sure you can’t just stay here and help me deal with these two? I don’t know if I’ll make it until they go to college.”

“Hey!” Grayson groans.

“If they go to college,” I mumble under my breath.

“Hey!” Bryson repeats.

I laugh and look at my brothers. “Look, as much as it sucks, if she asked Grayson out first he has every right to go with her.” A smug look crosses Grayson’s face. “But, if you knew Bryson liked her and you said yes anyway that’s something you’re going to have to deal with.” Bryson crosses his arms and looks over at Grayson. “Buuuuut, if you wanted to ask her out you should have. Don’t punish him because you were a chickenshit.”

The two of them stare at me for what feels like an eternity before sighing heavily and storming away. Not even bothering to tell me goodbye.

Mom laughs and faces me. “They’ll figure it out,” I tell her with a smile.

“They might just destroy my house in the process,” she groans as Dad walks in the front door.

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