Page 40 of Side Out

Jax

Halloween weekend is coming…

The party is on Saturday night if you want to come. You can even bring Bridget, it’ll be fun.

Gotta invite the neighbors so the cops don’t get called

My eyes have been going back and forth between that message and the mask sitting in my drawer. The fact that he’s even willing to invite me and trying to be amicable about this entire thing proves how good of a man he truly is. Better than I could ever hope to be.

Me

Marg better be there

Jax

It’s past her bedtime when we throw parties, or she’d be there.

She shut the last day party we had down.

Emerson and I had to practically carry her over to her house.

Me

She parties harder than me, it sounds like.

Bridget might go out of town on business. Maybe I could come.

No response.

Left on read.

For almost a week.

And rightfully so.

What the fuck was I thinking?

Why did I say that?

I’ve been doing so well keeping things very professional between Jax and I, but the Halloween party brought up the past in one fell swoop, every feeling, every memory, every desire came rising to the surface.

?*I can’t do this.

Slamming my drawer closed, I pocket my phone and do my best to push the thoughts of the party aside.

Why can’t college students just go trick-or-treating?

* * *

Avoidance didn’t work. Like, at all.

It’s Saturday.

And I still haven’t decided…

The mask has now made its way out of the drawer and is sitting on top of my dresser, mocking me even more than it was, if that’s even possible. The sun has just set, but there are already partygoers piling into the Baker house, as per usual.

It’s still eating at me that Jax still doesn’t know the circumstances surrounding my engagement. That everyone else in our families wants it more than I do. That I would quite literally break off the entire thing tomorrow if it didn’t mean disappointing everyone I care about. Again.

---