Page 74 of Side Out

“What you said about us moving here? And—and about loving me?”

“Jackson… I’m about to get married in a barn in Montana. If that doesn’t tell you the lengths I’d go to for you I don’t know what does.”

I huff a laugh. “Fair enough.”

Theo gives me one more kiss before saying, “Come on. We have wedding festivities to attend.”

Ends of the Earth - Ty Myers

CHAPTER46

CHANGE IS GOOD

THEODORE

My mind keeps floating back to last night. Jax said he loves me. I think he has for a while now, but he’s been too mad, too scared I’d hurt him again. Too… untrusting. And honestly, I don’t blame him. But everything has changed. We’ve changed.I’vechanged.

It took a while but Jackson Baker has changed who I am. And I’m all the better for it.

It’s only been a few weeks, and sure, it didn’t start the way I hoped it would have, but this marriage,ourmarriage, has brought me a level of peace I didn’t even know existed.

I didn’t have much to compare it to. None of my relationships in life have been overly serious, and the one I had with Bridget was, well, we don’t need to get into that today. But it’s safe to say Jax isn’t like any of them. He makes my life easier. He makes my life whole. I look forward to coming home to him every day. Every one of his little quirks—yes even the fact that he feels the need to listen to videos on his phone at max volume—make me love him even more.

I think about it all as I stare at myself in the full-length mirror as I button my tan suit pants followed by tucking in my white shirt. I’m in the loft above the barn while Jax is getting ready in his old room inside of the house. Jax protested at the idea of getting ready separately, stating that we were already married, but all Catherine had to do was give him one look and he folded. He was right… he really can’t handle that face.

I do my best to style my hair in the messy and tousled way I know Jax loves before sliding my glasses onto my face. Once I’m satisfied with my appearance, I pick the finishing touch up off the counter. My tie. My mom picked out mine, and Catherine picked out Jackson’s. Mine is a burnt-orange color with what looks like small white daisies scattered throughout.

I used to pick the daisies that would bloom around the vineyard in the spring when I was a child. I would bring my mom endless bouquets of them. And she never threw a single one away. There were times where our entire house would smell of nothing but daisies.

For a moment, tears sting my eyes while I finish situating my tie around my neck.

I can’t cry. Not yet.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I grab my wallet out of my jeans pocket that is lying across the back of the chair and pull out the handwritten note with my vows on it. Flopping down on the couch, I open the piece of paper I’ve had folded up in my wallet since the day after I called Jackson’s mom to plan all of this—I realize it’s no use fighting the tears. Not today.

Clearing my throat, I whisper:

Jax.

I never thought this would be us.

You’ve given me everything, even when all I gave you was nothing.

You’ve shown me that it’s okay to be me and to chase the things that I want in life. Regardless of what anyone says or does.

I have spent so long living under the weight of everyone else’s opinions and expectations, but because of you I know what it means to live a life that’s worth living.

You have given me the greatest gift of all. A life filled with hopes and dreams. A life that is unlike anything I could have ever imagined.

We have spent long enough wanting and loving in secret. And from this day forward, I promise to love you loud and with everything I have, now and until the end of time. I don’t know what I have done to deserve meeting you, but I will be forever grateful I moved into that little yellow house across the street.

I love you, Jackson Baker.

I’m fully sobbing now. Tears are streaming down my cheeks when I hear my mom’s voice. “Theo? Baby, are you in here?”

My voice cracks when I answer her, “Yeah… in here, Mom.”

The door opens. “What’s wrong?” She’s by my side, sitting beside me on the couch before I can even brush away the stray tear that’s escaped.

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