Page 30 of Saddle and Bound

I shake my head, trying to banish that thought.

No, he can't be right. He doesn't even know me, he knows nothing about me or my life in Los Angeles.

I stop near the orchard, leaning against a tree and taking a deep breath. The air fragrant with ripe apples helps calm me a bit, but the whirlwind of emotions inside me doesn't subside.

I think back to the words I said to him.

I prefer my 'golden cage' to a life wasted playing tough guy with cows!

I grimace at the memory. I was cruel, I know. I didn't really mean what I said. But he had hurt me and I... I wanted to hurt him back.

But why? Why did his words hit me so hard? Why do I care so much about what a stubborn cowboy, whom I've known for barely a few weeks, thinks?

The truth is that Alex has occupied my thoughts since I first saw him.

"Stop it, Rosie," I scold myself out loud. "He's just a cowboy. An irritating, arrogant cowboy and... and..."

And one who makes me feel alive like I haven't felt in years. Who makes me question everything I thought I knew about myself and my life.

The memory of our dance under the stars, of the night swim in the lake, makes my heart race. There was something in those moments, a connection that went beyond our differences and our bickering. A spontaneity that I've never had. A feeling of freedom...

Bare feet on the grass. Wet, messy hair in the lake. The way you felt in his arms...

But then I think of his words today, the venom in his voice, and I feel a pang of pain in my chest. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I saw something that wasn't there. Maybe Alex is really just an arrogant cowboy who can't wait to get rid of the city princess.

Yet, I can't shake off the feeling that there's more to it. That behind that tough facade lies something deeper, something that irresistibly attracts me.

I run a hand over my face, frustrated.

What’s happening to me? I came here to help my father, not to lose my mind over a cowboy.

This isn’t me. I don’t lose control. I always have my day planned. I’ve got a five-year plan to stick to. And I sure as hell can’t lose my mind over Alex.

No matter what I think… you already did it. Have I mentioned how much I hate that little voice in my head? It makes assumptions about me, but it doesn’t know a thing. Icannotlose my mind over Alex fucking cowboy!

Okay, fine, he's sexy. But there are a lot of sexy people.

And did I mention how much he irritates me? He’s always so careless, so damn annoying, living in the moment, not caring about his appearance...

Not that he needs to.

Damn inner voice!

I have a life in Los Angeles, a career, a future...

But as I look around this ranch, I find myself wondering if those plans are really what I want. If the life I’ve built in LA is truly as fulfilling as I’ve always believed.

I sigh deeply. I don’t have any answers, just a pile of confused questions and conflicting feelings. The only thing I’m sure of is that Alex, in some way, has managed to shake me to the core, making me question everything.

And I don’t know if I should hate him or thank him for it.I continue to walk aimlessly around the ranch, trying to sort out my thoughts. The sun is setting, casting long shadows on the ground and tinting everything with a warm golden glow. It's beautiful, I have to admit. So different from the Los Angeles sunsets, obscured by smog and skyscrapers.

I stop near the horse corral, watching them graze peacefully. There's a peace here that I've never experienced in the city. A simplicity that, I must admit, has its charm.

"Damn it, Alex," I mutter to myself. "Why do you have to make everything so complicated?"

Because that's what he's done.

He's complicated everything.

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