Page 44 of Saddle and Bound

A tall guy, with perfectly combed hair and a toothpaste commercial smile, is standing next to her. Before I can even process the scene, Rosie jumps into his arms with a cry of joy.

My stomach painfully contracts as I watch the guy hug her and spin her in a pirouette worthy of a romantic movie. Rosie laughs, a sound of pure happiness that hurts my chest.

For a moment, I stand still, unable to move or look away. All my doubts and insecurities seem to materialize before my eyes in this perfect scene.

Of course Rosie has someone. Someone from her world, someone who can offer her much more than a simple country cowboy.

I suddenly feel stupid for even thinking there could be something between us. The memory of our almost-kiss in the barn now seems like a bad joke.

I swallow hard, trying to compose myself. I need to get out of here before they notice me. Before Rosie sees how pathetic and disappointed I am.

I can't bear this scene. I can't stay here a second longer. But just as I'm about to turn and flee, Rosie looks up and our eyes meet. For an instant, I see something in her gaze - surprise? Embarrassment? - but then her face lights up in a smile.

"Alex!" she calls out. "Come here, there's someone I want you to meet!"

I feel bile rising in my throat. The idea of approaching, of shaking hands with that perfect guy, of having to smile and make conversation... it's more than I can bear right now.

"I have things to do," I grunt, my voice hoarse and sharp even to my own ears.

Without waiting for an answer, I turn and walk away with long strides. I need to get out, to get as far away as possible from this happy little picture, from Rosie, from everything.

I leave the house almost running, ignoring Rosie's confused and perhaps hurt look. I can't think about it now. I can't think about anything.

I head towards the fences, determined to lose myself in physical work. Maybe, if I push myself hard enough, I'll be able to erase the image of Rosie in that other guy's arms.

But as I grab the tools and start working furiously, I know it won't be that easy. Because that happy laugh, that radiant smile... they keep echoing in my mind, a painful reminder of what I can never have.

I work on the fences for hours, pushing my body to the limit. The sun beats down hard on my back, but I barely notice it. I'm too focused on hammering, sawing, nailing - anything to keep my mind occupied.

But no matter how hard I work, I can't get rid of the dull ache in my chest. The image of Rosie hugging that guy keeps haunting me.

"Hey, cowboy!" A familiar voice makes me jump. I turn to see Chris approaching, a concerned expression on his face.

"Chris," I mutter, wiping sweat from my forehead. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugs. "Diego told me you seemed a bit down. Thought I'd come check on you."

I shake my head. "I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter."

Chris studies me for a long moment, then sighs. "You know, buddy, we might be idiots sometimes, but we know when one of us is hurting."

His words hit me harder than I'd like to admit. I look away, focusing on the fence.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I would have come to find you anyway. I owe you an apology for my behavior. It won't happen again," I mutter, continuing to work.

But Chris doesn't leave. Instead, he comes closer, leaning on the fence next to me. "Alex," he says in an unusually serious tone, "you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. But I'm here if you need to talk. And I don't need your apologies... I know how you work and how good you are at your job. Everyone lets their guard down sometimes... you're my brother, I'm not going to make a fuss about this."

His gentle tone almost makes me crumble. For a moment, I'm tempted to tell him everything. But I can't. I'm not ready to admit out loud what I feel for Rosie.

"I appreciate you coming," I say finally, my voice a bit hoarse. "But I'm fine, really. I just... have a lot of work to do."

Chris nods slowly, clearly unconvinced. "Alright," he says. "Then... let's get to it."

He grabs some tools and starts working with me. We proceed in silence, but he doesn't leave me alone. A comforting silence... it's nice not having to talk to someone to be understood.

After a while, Chris pats me on the shoulder. "Hey, what do you say we all go to the Rusty Spur tonight? It might do you good to distract yourself a bit."

I hesitate for a moment. The idea of having to pretend to be cheerful and carefree doesn't appeal to me. But maybe Chris is right. Maybe I need a distraction.

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