Page 94 of Saddle and Bound

Rosie

I look at Alex, standing in front of me, his eyes truly full of fear. Part of me wants to throw myself into his arms, tell him everything is okay, that I understand. But I can't. Not yet.

"I need to take a walk. I'll see you later," I say, my voice calmer than I expected. I don't want to hurt him... but I need to breathe and reorganize my thoughts. I've always made impulsive decisions in life and jumped in headfirst. I don't want to repeat what I did in Los Angeles.

I know I love Alex, and I know I love this place, and that this is the right choice for me... but in moments like this, panic overwhelms me.

I know couples fight and misunderstandings happen, but I'm not used to this, and I want to learn how to handle everything in the best way possible.

I see the pain in Alex's eyes, but he nods understandingly. "I understand, Rosie. Take all the time you need."

His way of reacting and giving me space... it already makes me feel better. I don't know why I expected an even bigger fight... but he's Alex, and somehow he always puts me at ease.

As I walk away, I feel a tangle of emotions inside me. I feel... I don't know, confused perhaps. Maybe more than I should be. After all, I know Alex meant well. He didn't want to hurt me; he just wanted to help me.

I feel my anxiety rising but also subsiding... because Alex is a wonderful man, and his way of doing things helps me so much. I know he trusts Max, but I don't. I know he was acting in good faith... but I reacted a bit exaggeratedly to all this. I don't really understand why.

Perhaps it's simply that I'm not used to relationships. The fact that I've fallen in love and am doing so well here scares me a little... I feel like something is about to happen, like this bubble of perfection could shatter at any moment.

This morning, I was so happy, so proud of myself. I thought I had solved everything on my own, that I had finally taken control of my life. And instead... I discover that everything was resolved by someone else.

I'm glad Alex has my back... but I wish he would consult me when making decisions about me. And the fact that he asked for help from someone who is still a mystery to me and whom I find unsettling... makes everything worse.

Why him of all people? I still can't understand why Alex is so attached to such a... shady type. There's something about Maximilian that makes me uncomfortable, a coldness, a detachment I can't decipher.

I stop for a moment, looking at the ranch around me. This place that has become my home in such a short time. Alex, who has become my world almost overnight. It's all so intense, so overwhelming.

I take a deep breath. I know we'll need to talk more, Alex and I. Clarify many things. But for now, I need to be alone, to reorganize my thoughts and feelings.

?

I'm not sure how long I've been wandering around the ranch, lost in my thoughts, when a shrill voice suddenly makes me jump.

"Rosie, darling! Just the person I was looking for!" I turn and see Aunt Tina approaching, wearing a multicolored polka dot apron over a floral dress that would make a spring field pale in comparison.

"Hi, Aunt Tina," I respond, trying to force a smile.

"Oh, don't make that face! Come with me, and I'll tell you about the time I almost married an Aztec prince during a trip to Mexico. Or was he a Japanese sumo wrestler? Well, the details are a bit fuzzy, but he was definitely real!"

Before I can protest, Aunt Tina grabs my arm and drags me toward the main house. "Anyway, we're making a strawberry tart with pastry cream. You absolutely must join us!"

We enter the kitchen, and I'm greeted by a chaotic but cheerful scene. Maria, Lexy, Val, and Aurora are all working, laughing and chatting. The kitchen looks like it's been hit by a flour explosion.

"Look who I found!" Aunt Tina announces triumphantly.

"Rosie!" Maria exclaims, smiling. "Finally! We thought you'd forgotten about us."

"Yeah, you didn't even respond to our invitation today," Lexy adds, pretending to be offended.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, feeling guilty. "I've had... an intense day."

The girls exchange a glance. Aurora approaches, her forehead furrowed with concern. "Rosie, are you okay? You seem a bit down."

I try to smile, but I know it's not convincing. "I'm fine. Just a bit tired."

"Nonsense!" Aunt Tina interjects. "Nothing that a bit of sugar and good company can't cure. Now, do you want to know what happened to me this morning? A disaster! I met an owl, and it was staring at me... do you know what that means?! It's an omen of death!"

Aunt Tina starts, and everyone bursts out laughing. The cheerful atmosphere and the affection of these women slowly begin to melt the knot in my stomach.

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