Page 26 of Saddle and Bound

Fran pats me on the shoulder. "You have time... you can decide whether to use it and try to figure out if there's something between you or just have fun. Why are you tormenting yourself like this?! And Alex, remember that her father lives here. She's alone on the other side of the world... maybe she'll decide to stay."

His words hit me harder than I'd like to admit. A part of me, a part I'm desperately trying to ignore, clings to that hope.

"We don't know," I finally say. "We don't really know her. I don't even know if she's happy there, if she has someone waiting for her... and then... what about the rest of her family?"

I don't know what to be more uneasy about. I can't bear to think that she might have a boyfriend in America... this thought definitely bothers me.

And even the last thing I blurted out worries me. Is she alone? I hadn't thought about the fact that Robert had told us his first wife had died many years ago. Suddenly, I'd like to talk to Rosie. Understand what's going on in her head... what she's had to face...

"And why don't you ask her?" Chris suggests. "Instead of making assumptions, why don't you try to really get to know her?"

I remain silent for a moment, reflecting on his words. He's right, I know. But the idea of having such conversations terrifies me. It's all a mess. I'm not used to these things. I don't even know what "these things" are. I can't ask a person out of the blue to tell me the secrets of their soul if I don't trust myself.

"I don't know if I can," I finally admit, my voice barely more than a whisper.

Diego puts an arm around my shoulders. "Hey, you don't have to do it alone. We're here for you, man. If you want, we can organize something. An evening all together, no pressure. So you can get to know her better without feeling embarrassed."

The idea isn't bad, I have to admit. Maybe, in a group context, I could relax enough to really talk to Rosie.

I think back to the night of the barbecue. To her... she seemed so nervous and out of place. To her letting go when Val offered her a lifeline. To her then withdrawing and seeming... melancholic?

And then to us...

Us...

"Maybe," I say slowly. "It could work." I don't know if this slips out of my mouth out of pure selfishness, because I'd like to have her back like that evening, or because I feel relieved at the prospect of spending time with her and having more opportunities to talk without necessarily resorting to a date right away.

A date that would be awkward. I wouldn't know what to say, what to do, how to behave.

The guys smile, clearly satisfied with having made progress.

"Great!" Fran exclaims. "And maybe we can invite your mystery girl too, eh Diego?"

Diego looks panicked. "There's no mystery girl."

Chapter 15

Rosie

I stare at my laptop screen, the figures and graphs dancing before my eyes without making any sense. I sigh heavily, running a hand through my hair. It's useless. I can't concentrate. My mind keeps wandering, going back to the night of the barbecue, the swim in the lake, the dance with Alex...

Alex. Why can't I get him out of my head?He's just an arrogant cowboy, I repeat to myself for the umpteenth time. Yet, the memory of his smile, the warmth of his body against mine as we danced, makes my heart race.

I abruptly close the laptop. It's clear I won't accomplish anything productive today. I stand up from the chair, feeling restless and nervous. I need air, to move, to do something to distract myself from these confused thoughts.

As if sensing my discomfort, I hear a knock at the door. "Come in," I say, trying to hide my agitation.

Maria enters, her face lit up by her usual warm smile. "Hey, honey. How about joining us girls for some ranch work? We're going to pick fruit and then make jams and pies."

For a moment, I hesitate. The idea of getting my hands dirty with manual labor makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. But then I think of the alternative: staying here staring at the computer screen and tormenting myself with thoughts about Alex.

"You know what? That sounds like a great idea," I respond, surprising myself.

Maria claps her hands, excited. "Fantastic! Val has already prepared some more suitable clothes for you. Come on, let's get you changed!"

I follow Maria to Val's room, where I find denim overalls, a bright red top, a pair of worn but comfortable boots, and a cowgirl hat. I look at myself in the mirror after changing and barely recognize myself. I look... different. More relaxed, perhaps. Less "city princess" and more... well, ranch girl. I almost wish Alex could see me...damn it, Rosie, can't you go five minutes without thinking about him!

"Wow, Rosie!" Lexy exclaims when she sees me. "You look like a real cowgirl!"

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