Page 50 of Saddle and Bound

I don't know what to say... but I squeeze his hand. I rest my head on his shoulder with a silent invitation for him to get closer to me. I don't miss how careful he is with physical contact. How he tries not to take more liberties than I grant him and how he gives me time to get used to it and decide how close I want him.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Don't be sorry, princess. And I'm sorry if I saddened the evening," he replies, squeezing my hand back.

"I'm glad to know you better, cowboy."

Alex gives me a small smile. His expression is no longer sad... now he looks tender.

"You've never been camping before, have you?" he asks, trying to lighten the moment... even though I've avoided this conversation as much as possible until now.

But in light of Alex's confession, it seems futile and foolish to keep hiding it.

"I'm sorry I never had experiences like this with my father," I confess. "He was always too busy..."

Alex turns to me, his eyes full of understanding. "Hey," he says gently, "it's never too late to create new memories. Maybe... maybe this can be the beginning of something new for you."

His words strike me deeply. He's right. Maybe I can't change the past, but I can choose how to live the present.

"Thank you, Alex," I whisper. "For all this. For... making me feel at home here."

He smiles, and for a moment he seems about to say something more. Instead, he just holds me a little tighter.

We stay like this, wrapped in the blanket, watching the stars and listening to the sounds of the night. There's no need for more words. At this moment, everything seems perfect.

But as the night progresses and the fire dies down, I can't help but wonder: what will happen tomorrow? And after? This feeling that's growing inside me... is it real? And most importantly, can it last beyond this magical night under the stars?

With these thoughts swirling in my head, I slowly fall asleep, my head resting on Alex's shoulder, his arm still protectively around me.

Chapter 26

Alex

The fire has now reduced to glowing embers, casting a soft light over our small campsite. I don't have the heart to move, not even to revive the flames. Rosie has fallen asleep on my shoulder, her steady breathing mingling with the sounds of the night. Her scent, envelops me, intoxicating me. There's nothing more beautiful in the world than this moment, I think to myself. It's perfect in its simplicity, in its quietness.

Thinking back to earlier today, the memory of Rosie's nervousness at the beginning of the journey strikes me. I had noticed it right away, evident in her eyes, in the way she moved, uncertain and a bit scared. Like a fawn ready to bolt at the slightest noise. It broke my heart to see that vulnerability in her, that fear hidden behind a brave smile.

I never want her to feel that way with me. I want to be her safe harbor, a place where she can be completely herself without fear of judgment or expectations. I want her to feel free, happy, peaceful in my presence. Just as she is now, sleeping peacefully by my side.

I watch her sleep and think about how much I want her to open up to me. I want to tell her that she can trust me completely, that I'll never judge her, whatever she decides to share. That her secrets, her fears, her dreams are safe with me. I want her to understand how much I care for her, even though I've known her for relatively little time.

It's strange how life sometimes surprises you, I think with a smile. If someone had told me a month ago that I would find myself here, in the middle of nowhere, with a "city princess" asleep on my shoulder and my heart beating like a teenager's first love, I would have laughed in their face. Yet here I am, with feelings so strong and deep for Rosie that they sometimes take my breath away.

During the evening, I was on the verge of telling her all this several times. When she laughed at my jokes, the sound of her laughter warming my heart more than any fire could. When her eyes sparkled watching the deer, full of wonder and pure joy. When she thanked me for bringing her here, her voice heavy with emotion. Each time, the words were there, on the tip of my tongue, ready to come out. But each time, I held back.

I don't want to force things. I want everything to happen naturally between us, every step forward to be natural and desired by both of us. If there's one thing I've learned in life, working with animals and nature, it's that the best things can't be rushed. They must grow naturally, like a flower blooming at the right moment, not a second before or after.

I did try to tell her something about myself... even though I didn't want to dampen the mood with my dramas. But I thought I couldn't hope for her to open up to me or start trusting me if I didn't take the first step. I usually don't talk openly about anything from my past... but with her it's different. Everything is different with her.

I sigh softly, enjoying the weight of her head on my shoulder, the warmth of her body against mine. This moment, here and now, is perfect as it is. I only need this: the quietness of the night, the stars above us, and Rosie by my side.

Slowly, with all possible gentleness to avoid waking her, I move Rosie into a more comfortable position. I take off my jacket and put it over her like an extra blanket, smiling when I see her instinctively curl up in its warmth. Then, I lie down beside her, close enough to feel her warmth, but not so close as to invade her space. I respect her boundaries. The universe only knows how much I want to immerse myself in her and never let go... but I want her to be ready. I want every time she comes closer to me and seeks contact to be because she wants to.

And I never want to behave again like I did the other night.

I was an idiot. I saw her cry and I walked away. I left her there... alone. Damn, I even made her cry... I really am an idiot.

Looking at the stars above us, I make a silent promise. Whatever happens, I'll be here for her. As a friend, as a confidant, as whatever she needs me to be. Because Rosie deserves this and much more. She deserves someone who supports her dreams, who comforts her fears, who loves her for who she truly is.

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