Page 98 of Only You and Me

“He was one of four people, besides me, who bid on you. You had no reason to think there was anything different about him. This isn’t your fault.”

“But, after we danced, he implied that he’d like to get to know me better and I could call him if I wanted the same. I forgot about that when I was telling you about interactions with men when you were creating the suspect?—”

“No. It was not your fault. This is no one’s fault but Alero’s. He’s got a history, too. We ran his record, and he’s had two restraining orders placed on him and one arrest for domestic violence. This is one hundred percent a him issue.”

“He’ll stay in jail now, right?” I hate the worry in my voice. It makes me feel weak.

“We’re asking for no bail because of the nature of his crime and him being a flight risk. I think the judge will agree.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

I watch as Ben lowers the bed rail nearest him, then helps me maneuver my upper body closer to the edge. He leans his upper body onto the bed and carefully slips an arm under me, holding me the best he can, given the monitor wires and the tube coming out of my chest on the other side.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you. I just need to have my arms around you. To hold you.”

He rests his head on the mattress, and I turn mine to face him, now only inches apart, breathing the same air.

“I was terrified when you called me on the way back from the cemetery. I hated I wasn’t with you. That someone was trying to hurt you, and I couldn’t protect you.”

I offer him a soft smile. “You protected me. You got help on the way—help that arrived before my condition deteriorated from the collapsed lung. If you hadn’t called for them when you did, I might not have made it until they arrived. You told me what to do as we were driving. It was you, your voice, and knowing you were coming that kept me even remotely calm enough to drive as far as we did. I was fighting to stay in control every second of that drive because I needed Emily to be okay, but also because of you.”

Ben’s brow furrows and his eyebrows squish together. “I don’t understand.”

“You give me hope for the future. For the relationship and family I’ve always wanted. Because of how you love me and how I love you back. I searched for that with others over these last ten years, but I never found it. Because it’s only possible for me with you. That’s the only way it works for me. You and me. So, I was fighting for Emily in that car, but I was also fighting for us. For our future.”

He takes the hand that’s on top of me and moves it to my neck, his grip both light but claiming. I tremble as the slightly roughened pad of his thumb strokes featherlike touches against my cheek.

“God, I don’t fucking deserve you. I never will, but I promise I’ll spend every single day for the rest of our lives trying to. I want to give you all your dreams. As many kids as you want, we’ll make it happen. You tell me where you want to live, and we’ll do it. Anything you want, I’ll try to give it to you. I promise never to take you for granted again for a single day of the rest of my life. I love you so damn much.”Ben’s forehead touches mine.

“I love you,” I whisper.

We stay like this for several minutes, our eyes eventually closing as we hold on to each other. After a few minutes, I can’t hold back my sniffling or the tears that roll down my cheeks and I open my eyes to find Ben searching my face, worry etched on his.

“What’s wrong? Am I causing you pain?”

“You aren’t. But I have to pee so bad it hurts, and I can’t give in to Nancy and use the bedpan.”

Ben grins and his dimple pops out, then he leans in and plants a kiss on my lips before sitting up. “Well then, let’s get you up so you can pee on the toilet.”

“But if Nancy finds?—”

“I’ll deal with Nancy if she comes back.” He crosses his index and middle fingers and smirks. “She and I are like this.”

I roll my eyes and laugh, then tap him on the arm. “Don’t make me laugh. I’ll pee myself. That’s not something I want my hot husband to see.”

Over the next few minutes, Ben carefully helps me sit up at the side of my bed nearest the small bathroom. I know how to disconnect my heart monitor wires from the monitor mounted above the bed—that’s the easy part. It’s the chest tube I’m worried about. Sitting up like this, though, I’m relieved to see there’s enough tubing from the suction on the wall to the container attached to my tube that I should have no problem reaching the toilet. When we’re ready, I grab the canister attached to my tube while Ben holds onto me, and I stand. I take a few slow steps until I’m far enough from the bed that it’s time for Ben to follow my directions and disconnect me from the cable tethering me to the heart monitor. But I’m close enough to the bathroom that by the time Nancy realizes I’m disconnected, she’ll be too late to foil my trip to the toilet.

When I finally make it to the toilet, I feel damn victorious. Then I kick Ben out of the room so I can pee in private. I breathe a sigh of relief when I go and the pain in my bladder recedes. I don’t hold in my laughter when I hear Nancy reaming Ben out on the other side of the door to the small bathroom. He holds her off long enough that I can finish and stand to wash my hands at the compact sink next to the toilet.

When the door whips open and Nancy is standing there, I grin at her. “I peed. Now I’d like to sit up in a chair.” I’ll never tell her how much getting up hurt. Hell no.

I look over Nancy’s head and Ben mouths, “Say please.”

Ugh. “Please,” I add, trying to sound as sincere as I can. Damned if Nancy doesn’t chill out a little and agree that I can get to a chair.

Hmm. Maybe I could learn a little something from my Mr. Sunshine of a husband.

CHAPTER36

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