Page 6 of Only You and Me

I reach through the middle of the group and grab the man’s hand. “C’mon handsome, let’s dance.” I pull him to me—and he comes all too willingly. I swear I hear Ben make some vicious sound at my back, but, like usual, I ignore him.

As my dance partner puts his hand on my waist, I wrap mine around his neck and gaze into his face. A twinge of guilt hits me at the hope on his face. It’s not fair of me to involve someone else in my attempts to make a statement to Ben. The right thing to do would have been to walk off the dance floor as originally planned and instead, I went the route of trying to piss Ben off.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Ben walking away and move my hands down to my partner’s shoulders. Over the next ten minutes, we make small talk and then I thank him for the dancing and excuse myself. Now I’ve got a date with a glass of wine, so I make my way over to the bar and order a glass of chardonnay before I head back to the table where my best friend and fellow firefighter, Fitz, is sitting.

Fitz has been my best friend for nearly a decade, since we met when we were both in the fire academy together when I was only twenty-two years old. We started with the Elladine Fire Department at the same time—him at Station Three and me at Station One. Last December, I got promoted to A shift captain and moved over to Station Three. Since Fitz is on B shift, we don’t get to work on the same day, but now I get to see him for a few minutes in passing when I’m leaving after my shift and he’s coming on.

I take a seat next to him and take a sip of my wine.

“How come you’re not dancing?” I ask him.

A sarcastic laugh escapes him. “Do you know me at all? I was a little surprised to see you out there cutting a rug.” He raises a questioning eyebrow at me.

“What? I felt like dancing a little. So?”

“So, nothing. Surprised me is all. Looks like Em and Shayna are having a good time.”

I take a sip of my wine and follow his gaze out to the dance floor, checking to make sure Emily and Shayna are okay. They’re fine, but an unfortunate consequence of me checking on them is that I don’t miss seeing Ben out there as well. I’m not shocked to see him with some leggy brunette hanging all over him. I force myself to look away.

Fitz and I sit quietly for the next several minutes, and I eventually glance down at my watch. “I can’t believe it’s only ten-thirty. I told you we should have stayed in tonight and celebrated at one of our houses. There’re too many people here.”

Laughter erupts from Fitz, and I turn to look at him. I do my best to give him a glare, but he knows I don’t mean it.

“What?” I ask. “I’m serious. Why do we have to stay awake until midnight? Except to wish you a happy birthday, I mean.”

“Sometimes it’s like you’re an eighty-five-year-old grumpy man living in a thirty-one-year-old woman’s body.” He has to practically yell to be heard over all the noise in the bar.

“Oh, you’re one to talk. I’m pretty sure if you didn’t have to work and eat, you’d be living on those ten acres of yours like a hermit, happy to never see another person.” I tease him, but he knows I’m only giving him shit.

“Nah.” He chuckles. “I’d at least want to see you and Emily.”

“So, I think what we’re basically saying is that we are both introverted grumps who prefer to stay home instead of interacting with society, right?”

“Yeah, that’s sounds about right. Guess that’s why we’re best friends. Thank God we’ve got your little sister to force us to engage with other humans and counteract our antisocial behaviors, huh?”

Thinking about Emily, it strikes me how much he’s been doing for her since her husband died in September.

“Hey, Fitz?”

He must hear the transition in my tone to seriousness, because he turns and looks at me.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for all you’ve been doing for Em. You’ve always been there for her, but these last few months since Teddy died, you’ve probably watched out for her more than even I have.”

He looks down at his beer and peels at the label. “Well, I don’t know about that. I just feel so damn helpless. I do things for her because what do you say to make it better, you know?”

I scoff. “Yeah. I’ve tried her whole life to protect her from getting hurt and to see her at only twenty-seven years old cheated on within a few months of getting married, followed by him taking his own life… That’s worse than the most horrible things I ever imagined I’d need to protect her from. I feel totally ill-equipped to help her and I’ve really dropped the ball.”

“What?” Fitz gasps. “You’re kidding, right?” When I don’t answer, he says, “Hey, look at me.” I swallow past the lump in my throat and turn toward my friend. He waits until my eyes meet his to speak again. “Tri, you’ve been there for her. Jesus, you literally held her together in the ER that day and for all the horrible things she had to do afterward to lay her husband to rest. You’ve fucking been there for her every single day since. So don’t think for a second you’re not one hundred percent helping her get through this. Got it?”

I can’t answer him because I’m afraid I’ll get choked up, and I don’t cry. At least not in front of people. Instead, I simply nod at him and look up as our friends, Annie and Jack, walk back up to the table.

Annie’s the assistant nurse manager at First City ER and Jack is a fellow firefighter and the B shift captain over at Station Three with Fitz and me. He’s also Ben’s twin, but I won’t hold it against him.

“Hey guys, you having fun?” Annie asks as they take their seats.

“Loads,” I deadpan.

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